Inspirational Art

Tonight, I decided to browse the internet, looking at different blogs, websites that I haven't been to in a long time. That is where Marcia Snedecor's art gave me light to my dark night. I'm in a another transition in my life, looking for the answers that I am seeking. And I am hoping that I will someday soon purchase one of her exquiste art pieces. I hope you enjoy it, as much, as I did.

Peace, Love, Joy, and Inspiration...

My first full week of work ended last Saturday. I like my new job, Edna is a wonderful, wise lady. I met her son, grandson and his wife, and it is nice to work with a family who clearly loves their mother and grandmother so. Life is full of interesting things that seem to happen in ones life. I discovered a secret about myself and also about some of the people in my life. Life changes, sometimes we are ready, sometimes we are not. I don’t know why, today, I am feeling full of wisdom, insight, and wonder at the many things that are happening around me. My friend, who has been a playboy, since I met him three years ago, found the one that he wants to marry. He told me on Friday. I am so happy for him, I am also a bit sad, because that means our relationship is going to change, but that is clouded by the happiness and pride I am taking in him and the new found changes he is making in his life. I am going to miss our late night talks and the time we spent together. Yet, I am also happy for him too. Cassandra is a wonderful woman. I hope with all my heart that this time it works out how he wants it to. I saw him today, we had one of our deep, inspirational talks, it helped in a lot of ways and I hoped it helped him too. It helped me to say goodbye to the old friendship that we had, and hello to the new one we are going to build. Hello, to the new phase in my life as well. I don’t feel compelled to help anyone, but me. It is a strange feeling, I’m used to being the caretaker, the encourager, but now, I don’t feel that dragging on me. It is a peaceful feeling. It helped to hear that I am important to him, that I matter to him, that I am a good and close friend to him. It helped knowing this and also seeing his face when he told me, he was happy with our conversation, because I am not being negative, insulting, or critical of this girl or him either, not like the ones in the pass. Well, if you knew them, you’d understand why. I am proud of him, I am proud of the growth that he is making in his life, and I am also proud of me. I am making clear cut changes, though the pruning is difficult, it is necessary for me to grow as a woman, friend, sister, aunt, and mostly for my own sake. I want more than a so, so existence. I deserve it, I want it, I crave it, and most of all, I’m striving for it. It has been three years, when the death of my life began. Now, I am seeing the green growth of my life, in my body, mind, soul, and spirit. My sister Vickie is coming the first week in November, I’m so looking forward to that visit. I’m excited, because, well, I haven’t seen her in awhile, not only that. I want her to see the woman that I am now, not the one I was in 2002, when she saw me in my environment. I admire, Vickie so much, she is a wise woman, helped me out of my mental anguish, because she has lived the life that I lived. She is so much happier, healthier than she was before. I am proud of her too. I, actually, have a couple of awesome women in my life, who have gone before me. I also have a couple of awesome friends in my life too. Monte is one of them. I am sending him blessings and Cassandra too. I am also sending blessings to Vickie, Joy, Carri, Amber Dawn, Amber May, and my friend Christina. I wish them happiness, love, joy, and peace that lasts…

Butterfly

I saw this video, while browsing. I love butterflies. They are graceful, beautiful, and peaceful creatures.

Sunday Serenity #8

This is one of my favorite Tori Amos songs, it is called liquid diamonds. My favorite part is the chorus that says: "I guess I'm an underwater thing so I
Guess I can't take it personally
I guess I'm an underwater thing I'm
Liquid running
There's a sea secret in me
It's plain to see it is rising
But I must be flowing liquid diamonds
Calling for my soul
At the corners of the world
I know she's playing poker with the rest of the stragglers" Solitude is a great thing, calling for yourself from all the corners of your mind, freeing yourself from the bondage of the negative doubts about the life that is around you. I got my music stolen, all my Tori Amos CDS are gone, and so is the necklace that my dad gave me when he went to Romania. There are a lot of changes, maybe that is exactly what true serenity, accepting the changes, obstacles, and negative things and still being happy and willing to still live, despite the shit in life.

Rules For Being Human

I got this in an email tonight, it is where I am at, this moment in time.

"RULES FOR BEING HUMAN":
RULE #1: You will learn lessons.
RULE #2: There are no mistakes--only lessons.
RULE #3: A lesson is repeated until it is learned.
RULE #4: If you don't learn the easy lessons, they get harder.
RULE #5: You'll know you've learned a lesson when your actions change.

-John C. Maxwell

Favorite Bands A To Z

Favorite Bands From A To Z:

A: Tori Amos
B: Pat Benetar
C: Chicago
D: Danzig
E: Eagles
F: Foo Fighters
G: Go Go’s
H: Heart
I: Janis Ian
J: Journey
K: The Killers
L: Lynyrd Skynyrd
M: Madonna
N: Nirvana
O: Olivia
P: Poison
Q: Queen
R: Ratt
S: Donna Summer
T: Thin Lizzy
U: Keith Urban
V: Sarah Vaughn
W: Weezer
X: ?
Y: Yes
Z: Z Z Top

Radiant Affirmation

I got this affirmation from my Goddess newsletter that I received. Here is the address if you are interested. goddess.com.au The reason this affirmation spoke to my spirit, I needed joy, love, and peace in my existence. It disappeared into the shadows of darkness and I am hoping saying this to myself will increase the flow of energy to maintain and keep my spirit growing. I have made some plans, decisions, and things seem to be progressing in my life. I love my job, Edna is a joy to work with and I feel like I can offer service. Things are growing and progressing, there is one thing on my mind that I am hoping will grow and become stronger, as well. I hope my dreams and desires come true.

~ I radiate love
~ I shine with joy
~ My smile comes easily
~ My peace is shared peace
~ I choose joy over sorrow
~ Hard times make me stronger
~ I blossom in response to adversity
~ I have great joy, and therefore great energy

Quote Of The Day!

The road to a friend's house is never long. – Danish Proverb


I got this quote in an email and I liked it. It is true, friends are awesome. The few close ones I have, I am so grateful for.

Cribbage And Other New Experiences

I had my first night of work, it went well. I played two hands of Cribbage with Edna tonight. It brought back old memories of playing with my dad and Uncle Don when we went camping with them in Idaho, after my junior year in high school. I quickly renewed my game playing skills and Edna enjoyed herself. This job is going to be easy and I can tell that we are going to get along. After work, I drove to Longview and visited with my old friend Amber. My other friend Amber, who was going to meet up with us, got called into graveyard duty. She is a Sheriff for Vancouver Washington. So, it was just me and Amber, we had a heart to heart talk, I told her about my plans with our mutual friend Monte, the month break that I feel I need to take for me, and she agreed. She is having problems of her own in her live in relationship and we were able to talk and even giggled a few times. It was a happy event. We went to Denny’s and ate nachos and drank cokes like we use to in high school, except it wasn’t Toppers. I am extremely tired, since it is almost 2 in the morning here in the North West, so, goodnight and sweet dreams everyone.

Sunday Serenity #7

To be honest, I truthfully don’t know what brings me serenity. Serenity means: being calm, untroubled, and cloudless in your mind and spirit. I have never really felt serene, at least right now, it is hard for to imagine what that feels like. All I know at this moment that I must get to that point in my life. I am lifting my hands up in the air, trying a new approach to my life and seeing what happens, going down a different path. I have to, if I don’t, I will drive myself crazy and not truly reach a transformation that I know I must make. I am getting ready to take a hot bath, listen to some Tori Amos (I know I enjoy her music) and listen to my soul, heart, and thoughts, without getting obsessive about what is going wrong and that feeling of helplessness. When I was so much younger, I was able to say “oh well, that is life”, now at 33, it is difficult for me to say that. Life does change, I’m releasing myself from the bondage of my negative thoughts and actions, that ultimately destroys me and going down a new path.

Inner Wisdom Of Jamie

A lot of different things have been happening in the last few months. I have stopped writing on my blog and I’ve stopped virtually being myself. I am not liking this part of me. The definition of insanity is doing something over and over expecting a different result. Starting today, this month, I am withdrawing and concentrating on my inner and physical health, which is in jeopardy. I have always said that I wanted to do this, truthfully, I have never done it. I need to listen to my inner core voice and be the wonderful woman that I know I am. I have gone through many changes in the past three years and I know that I need to do some more changing. To my friends and family, if I am not contacting you or calling you as much as I normally do, don’t take offense to it. I love you, I am just taking a sabbatical and listening to Jamie and the secrets of her heart and taking care of me.
On a chipper note, I got a new job. I am starting it tonight. I am excited and nervous and after work tonight me and my two Ambers are getting together and having a semi girls night out. I am looking forward to it. A lot of people that I haven’t talked to in a long time are coming out of the woodwork. The one friend, who I have based my life on, in part, is doing what he normally does, disappearing and being himself, and I’m not taking it personally, I am taking it as an opportunity for me to grow as a woman, friend, and family member in my life. He is still loved and cared about. I am listening to the inner wisdom of Jamie, thinking mindfully and doing what I feel is best. He needs time, so do I. I wish him happiness and normally, I would think we weren’t friends anymore, but not this time. We are, and he is valued and loved by me and I am hoping that it is the same on his side and I am trusting that our friendship bond is strong and capable of dealing with this same issue again and that the insanity of me thinking negative thoughts will stop, I’m trying a different approach than I normally do. Normally, I would hunt him down and make him talk to me, but that has always caused problems. Frankly, I am tired of discussing our issues and I don’t want to think about it any longer and neither does he. He knows I am here for him anytime and in some part I think he is there for me too. I am sending Monte blessings and contentment in his life at this moment, as, I am sending to everyone that I know in my entire life. I think I am finally growing up…

Sober

Kelly Clarkson Lyrics

Main Jane, Oh My...

This took me by surprise in a way, but oh well, I guess it can be true...

Which PLAIN Jane Are You? Main Jane

As the leader of the pack, you are always looking out for your friends and working to make your group pretty tight knit.

Take This Quiz More Quizzes

Wild Hogs

I just watched this movie tonight. I laughed so hard. I connected to all the charachters, my favorite charachter was Dudley played by W.H. Macy, because well he is a Klutz and just a loveable charachter. All the charachters were loveable and awesome. And the ending was awesome... I recommend anyone to watch this movie and have the best night of laughter ever...

I'm So Excited

I'm going to see Tori Amos in concert on December 4th, 2007 at the Arlene Schnetzer Theatre in Portland Oregon. My friend bought me a ticket to see her. This is one of my favorite songs that she has written. I'm looking forward to this performance. I enjoy her music a lot, she is a deep thinker, passionate writer, singer, and piano player. I like her religious symbolisms in her songs and the way she thinks too.

PIZZA

What Your Pizza Reveals

Your appetite is pretty average. You don't go overboard - but you don't deprive yourself either. You consider pizza to be bread... very good bread. You fit in best in the Midwest part of the US. Your taste in food tends to favor what's rich and comforting. You prefer food that will definitely satisfy you. You are generous, outgoing, and considerate with your choices. You are cultured and intellectual. You should consider traveling to Vienna. The stereotype that best fits you is upper class preppy. You don't anything too ordinary or vulgar.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

Situation Sunday

Situation #1
You are all alone on a deserted road, far from home. Say 20 miles from home- you see a zombie. What do you do?

Run, as far as I can possibly go, until I can find a place where I can get some fire, so I can light him on fire. If I remember correctly they don't like fire.

Situation #2
You are out shopping in a mall. You have purchased numerous items through-out the whole day. You have bags of purchases. In one store you are accused of stealing merchandise. Hunt as you may you can not locate a sales receipt for the purchase.....you are about to be arrested. What do you do.

I would say, prove that I stole the items from these stores, they have to prove that I stole them with witness' and survelliance videos. Then put my bags down and dump my purse out and find those receipts too.

Situation #3
You are swimming out in the ocean. You are about a mile from the shore. All those in your group are on the beach playing volley ball. You notice dorsal fins between you and the beach. No life guard is present. Scream and you might call attention by the wrong thing.....What do you do.

first of all, I wouldn't be swimming a mile out into the ocean, but if I was, I'd probably try to swim towards the shores in the opposite direction of the fins. And always keep my eyes on those fins as I was doing so.

Sunday Serenity #6

Something that brings me serenity, Is when I cook for someone else. Making them a meal, that I fashioned with my own hands gives me a chance to show someone that I love them. Not only that, the feel of the knife in my hands while I am chopping, I don’t know the rhythm, the action, the whole shebang just calms me. The process of cooking, working in the kitchen, cleaning up, and having a rewarding meal is what brings me peace of mind.

Survey Time Again

A N S W E R - T R U T H F U L L Y

1. Do you like anyone?: Yes, I like my family and friends
2. Do they know it? Yes, everyone knows that I love them.
3. Simple or complicated? Both, at different times.


IN - T H E - L A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y O U

4. Had sex:: Nope
5. Bought something: Yes, groceries...
6. Gotten sick?: Yes, I had a brief cold that last two days.
7. Been hugged?: Yep
8. Felt stupid?: Yep
9. Talked to an ex: Nope
10. Missed someone: yes, I miss several people in my life. Vickie, Rick, Joy
11. Failed a test: nope
13. Danced: Yes
14. Gotten your hair cut?: Nope, I"m trying to grow it out.
15. Lied: No


U N I Q U E

16. Nervous habits?: bitting my nails, sticking food in my mouth.
17. Are you double jointed?: I don't think I am.
18. Can you roll your tongue?: Yes
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: No
20. Can you cross your eyes?: Yes
21. Do you make your bed daily?: I'm learning new habits, so I'm trying to.
22. Do you think you are unique?: Not anymore so, than the next guy or girl.


H A V E - Y O U - E V E R'S

23. Said "I Love you": Yes, I only say it when I mean it.
24. Given money to a homeless person: Yes, I have.
25. Smoked: I tried it once, I thought it was stupid, so I proceeded to destroy my moms cigarettes. I got the beating of my life because of that.
26. Waited all night for a phone call?: yes
27. Snuck out?: Yes
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: Yes


M A N N E R S

29. Do you swear/curse?: Yes
30. Do you ever spit?: Not on purpose
31. You cook your own food?: Yeppers
32. You do your own chores?: Yeppers
33. You like beef jerky?: Yes
35. You're happy with your life?: I'm actually getting there. Things are looking up for me.
36. You own a dog?: No
37. You spend your money wisely?: No, but I am aiming to do so.
38. Do you like to swim?: yes
39. When you get bored do you call a friend: Yeah


D O - Y O U - P R E F E R'S

41. Flowers or angels?: Flowers
42. Gray or black?: Both
43. Color or black and white photos?: Both
44. Lust or love?: love!
45. Sunrise or sunset?: Both
46. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&M's
48. Staying up late or waking up early?: Both at different times
49. Being hot or cold?: cold
50. Winter or Fall?: fall
51. Left or right?: I'm right handed
52. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: 2 best friends
53. Sunshine or rain?: Both


MORE HAVE YOU EVERS;

Sleep in a bed of the opposite sex?: Yes
Hooked up in the woods?: no.
Drank a bottle of alcohol by yourself?: Yes
Hooked up in the shower?: No
Been Dumped?: Yes
Stolen money from a friend?: no
Slept naked?: yes
Been in a fist fight?: yes
Snuck out of your house?: yes
Had a crush on a teacher? yes, mr. bloom
Seen someone die? Yes
Been on an airplane? yes
Slept all day?: yes
Missed someone so much it hurt?: yes
Fallen asleep during school? yes
Been lonely?: yes
Cheated in a game?: No
Been to the ER?: yes
Been in a car accident?: yes
Had detention?: yes
Missed your first love?: No
Cried yourself to sleep?: yes
Sung in the shower?: yes
Kissed a complete stranger? i knew his name.
Laughed so hard you cried?: yes
Cheated on a bf/gf?: never
Regretted hurting someone?: yes
Regretted loving someone?: yes
Been SUPER happy?: yes

My Life In Pictures

I thought I would post a blog of some pictures that I took before my camera decided to break down... I loved my camera, I spent good money on it, and now it is gone... I had fun taking all sorts of pictures with it, it brought out my creative side... I had to borrow money when I was having a predicament, and so I gave this camera for colleteral, and I just got it back two months ago, and not long after I got it back, the pictures started having lines go through it and just acting up. Now it is fully gone, dead to be exact. It will cost more to fix it then what the camera orginally cost me, so I just threw it away. I will someday get me another one... Enjoy the pictures...

Me...After losing 100 pounds, I still have more to go...


Letty, Amber Dawn, and Me in highschool. Amber sent this to me, so it was odd seeing myself so young again...


Amber May and I, seeing each other after not for 12 years. She was the first friend that I made when I moved to Longview Washington when I was 13... She is awesome. She made me feel good about myself, when she made the comment, still the same old blunt Jamie. she is a wonderful friend and I'm glad we reconnected... She is a sheriff in Vancouver, so we can see each other more often.



Amber, her sisters, and Me



Monte and I


All my Amber's. I knew two of them from highschool, the third one I met and they are all just awesome...


Amber and I


Pretty flowers



Impatients



My Tomotoe Plant



The clouds of a beautiful evening in Vancouver


A Rose from the yard of my apartments.