The Beginning

The first week of the year just ended. I ordered myself seven books to read while I’m in the process of healing from another surgery. This time I chose stories that weren’t doctor oriented and scary such as the Frankenstein series by Dean Koontz. I learned my lesson, do not ever read a scary story before going into surgery, because you never know what you will be hallucinating while under the influence of drugs they give you to knock you out. And I was living in my hallucinations the story of Frankenstein and using my own characters and family as part of my story, not a good thing.

My breathing issue returned I feel it. I am more aware of it than I have ever been. The closing off of my airway, gasping for air while I do my chores, or walk to my mailbox, or even around the grocery store becomes an ingredient in the choices that I make. Dr. Anderson could be injecting a cell killer to stop the scar tissue from growing; he’s reluctant because the stuff is highly toxic. You have to put it exactly where you want it and leave on for a certain amount of time. It takes precision, I believe in Dr. Anderson. He’s been the most caring doctor that I’ve had. Luckily, I have 3 of them on my team and so I don’t feel alone. Even though my family is aware of my circumstances, they cannot imagine that ordeal of losing the ability to breathe takes to ones spirit, emotions, and physical ness. There are no words to describe the terrifying feeling or even the sense of hopelessness. 

So this week my plans are to watch Hamlet with Patrick Stewart. Oh how I love this mans acting. And read one of the 10 books that I am now in possession of thanks to my sister in law Kris and to Barnes and Nobles whom I bought some books from. The first book I’ll start will be “The School Of Essential Ingredients” by Erica Bauermeister. The title jumped out at me, because I love to cook. Though I have not had a chance to do it for quite some time. I am also starting “A Course In Weight Loss” by Marianne Williamson. I am doing this deep soul work along with the eating plan of Jorge Cruise. My sister in law and her family have started doing it, so it’s encouraged me to get back into the program. I’ve lost my ump for life. This week will be a blast.