The End

Writing an ending to a story that’s fictional cannot be easy, these revelations came to me because I just wrote the ending to a chapter of one aspect of my story today. When fiction’s being written you can write up all sorts of scenarios to end the story, such as, someone tripping and going through a propeller blade and being scattered or a menacing man walks up the villain and whacks him in the head or they are laying in bed together and the ceiling comes crashing down on them or the lady realizes her true potential, walks away joyously and tells the guy fuck off as she walks away. All these sound so inviting to me. Yes, I do have a dark side, that I don’t like much, but realize I must embrace because it’s an aspect that’s apart of me and if I don’t accept that aspect then I don’t accept me. Since I cannot be creative in my ending, I just have to accept that and just make the ending as good as I can. So I wrote a letter telling the person I am ending our story, farewell. I feel, relieved, even though, the dark Jamie would have liked to see the person mauled by a bear and eaten. Like that’s going to happen in a city, oh darn it. The fact remains that I care about this person, despite the deviancies in our friendship. I am also not ashamed of the fact that I have also chosen to forgive them and send them love, but for a brief moment before the revelation of LOVE hit, I wanted to kick some ass and make them hurt, like I was hurting.

I got some good news yesterday from the Rhematologist, the inflammation in my blood gone down and that makes me so happy, even though my breathing is getting worse from the scar tissue in my throat, at least one aspect of my new path of achieving good health is working. That gives me great hope and enjoyment. I have noticed that the medication been working, I am able to do things without pain. I am happy, I am going to be dancing in the streets when the scar tissue is conquered and I am able to run around and be me again. Actually, I’ve been slowly getting back to me again with new experiences and even discovering old ones that I have not done in years. I’m more aware of things then I use to be and so I don’t believe anything’s been a waste of time, even dysfunctional relationships that I had to recently write the ending to.