A great journey in progress!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Sunday Serenity #5

What brings me serenity is gaining order in my life. I gained order, by obtaining a car, which is essential for me to keep my freedom. I rearranged my living room this evening, tearing down some old furniture that was not serving me well, hooking up new speakers, and I like the placement a lot better. Serenity isn’t just inside of us, but is in our homes, cars, and the places that are around us. If I want peace, I have to make my environment organized, peaceful, and happy, not for company but for my own comfort and enjoyment. I bought some scents to enjoy in my own, and other things that will bring a sense of serenity, peace, and a well balanced life for me. Learning to make notes to keep me mindful of what needs to get done, listening to the people, who truly are my loved ones is also essential for me too,even when I don't like what they are saying.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Odd Ball

Mr. Man, my friend Montes' cat. Isn't he cute? Though, he has nothing to do what I am writing about, I felt the need to include him. He used to be my cat, but I gave him to Monte and now Monte and him are partners for life. LOL

I am feeling rested now, this morning at 5 AM I drove Carissa and Amber up to Seattle, so that Carissa can meet the ferry to take her to Victoria to see her boyfriend. It was a good trip good laughs, great music, and pretty scenery, well not until the sun light came across the sky. On the way home was not so good. Rain, rain, rain, pouring down from the sky made it hard to see, but it was still a great trip. The last 20 miles home I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Monte kept me awake on the phone until I got home and then I went straight to bed. Sleep felt good, I didn’t sleep well, because the combination of being on a couch and in a strange house that was not my own. I feel much better, thank God. I bought some speakers that were better than my old ones for $40 and I am looking forward to hooking them up tonight, now that I am feeling awake. LOL I have some big plans, and though last night I was feeling unsure of things, it is funny how the light of day can bring some perspective on things. I had a good talk with Amber on the way back home this morning, she is going through some major changes herself, the unknown is a frightening place, but we can’t stand still waiting for things to happen, we have to keep moving on and be the strong capable people we are. I’ve been questioning myself, repeating patterns that are not serving me well, giving up on myself, my perspective, beliefs, and I don’t want that bull in my life. Hibernating myself away from the world is not going to solve my problems or keep me safe, I have some plans. My big sister Vickie wants to purchase an apartment 4 or 8 plex here in Vancouver where I live and have me manage it with her. That would be a cool investment opportunity for me, and I’m going to do it. So, I’ll be searching out some possibilities in that area. Second, I’m going to continue to lose the weight that I so desperately want to lose and keep on going down that path. I just bought Bob Greens’ new book, “The Best Life Diet” and I also got the companion book to keep track of your progress. I am looking forward to reading it, and I am also looking forward to reading Wynonna Judds’ biography, I read her moms, but Wynonna is a fascinating woman in my eyes, so is Ashley. Actually, all three are awesome.


Carissa and Amber. Carissa is getting ready to get on the ferry to go to Victoria Canada.

The waterfront

Along the waterfront

Seattle street with the train tracks and the beautiful buildings.

A poppy flower in downtown.

The amtrak train in downtown Seattle, next the the waterfront.

The beautiful city of Seattle and the space needle.

The Space needle on the side.

My Ramblings

I'm spending the night at my friend Ambers' place. I'm driving to Seattle with her and her little sister Carissa. Carissa is going to Victoria Canada to see her boyfriend for a week, I'm excited for her. I've never been to Victoria Canada, but I've been told it looks a lot like Europe. I want to go someday. A lot of interesting things have been happening for me lately. I've been enjoying my freedom, but I fear I may be going way too far in my enjoyment. I have felt like a caged tiger for too long and now I'm out on the prowl, so to speak. I don't want what happened last time to happen now. I also realize that I need to settle down, figure things out, work on my future, instead of just waiting for it to happen. It isn't going. I'm not happy, though I should be. What the hell do I want to do with the next 30 or so years? I also don't want to concentrate on a certain person, that I've been wasting so much time and energy on, because frankly, it is going to make me more miserable. I have these voices in my life that all have opinions, advice, including my own, and I'm not sure where I stand, what to do, or even what I want? My whole life I've been doing what everyone else wants, holding back my emotions and feelings, letting everyone have control, but never ceasing the ropes myself. What kind of life am I going to have if it keeps up? I go for people who are not available for me? That are in constand mood swings and other dilemas and I'm here wondering what the heck? Should I do what I want to do, take a week or two to myself, no contact, and breath in my own thoughts, dreams, revelations, and cherish what I need to. Is that selfish? Or is it necessary for my own sanity?

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Freedom In Four Wheels

These pictures are from the day I purchased my car. I have been without my own transportation for a year, and now I am FREE at last. I felt good today. I discovered at Lane Bryant that I am a smaller size than I thought, which shocked me. I've been losing weight, but didn't realize how much my body has changed, until I tried on clothes. No one else saw either, until I got smaller size, instead of wearing tents as garments.lol

Bright, Shinning, and Maroon

I finally bought my new car, well it is used, but new to me. It is a 1992 Toyota Camary. I love it, it is comfortable and has all the options that I want on it. I love it. I'm so happy.

Monday, June 04, 2007


bold the songs you've heard before.

Lips Like Morphine - Kill Hannah
Welcome to the Black Parade - My chemical romance
What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flats
Pain - Three Days Grace
Girl Next Door - Saving Jane
Smack Dat - Akon, Eminem
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Miss Murder - AFI
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
Me & U - Cassie
Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani
What Goes Around Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
Beautiful - Christina Auguliara
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
London Bridge - Fergie
Lala - Ashlee Simpson
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
You're Beautiful - James Blunt
My Band - D12
The After Dinner Payback - From Autumn to Ashes
Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence
You're So Vain - Carly Simon
In Da Club - 50 Cent
Seize the Day - Avenged Sevenfold
Rockstar - Nickelback
It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects
Dance Dance - Fall Out Boy
Toxic - Britney Spears
Back in Black - AC/DC
Lying Through Your Teeth - Head Automatica
Down with the Sickness - Disturbed
American Idiot - Green Day
Stupid Girl - Pink
Rompe - Daddy Yankee
Naked in My Bed - Fricken’ A
But It's Better If You Do - Panic! at the Disco
Writing on the Walls - Underoath
Westchester - Marks of a Hero
Makedamnsure - Taking Back Sunday
Family Affair - Jessica Simpson
Lose Control - Missy Elliot
Blue Prints for the Future - Norma Jean
How to Save a Life - The Fray
Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
Fuck Ya Man - Tila Tequila
Newport Living - Cute Is What We Aim For
Maxwell Murder - Rancid
The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars
Heroine - From First to Last
Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
Rich - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The Crowing - Coheed & Cambria

Full Moon

I took this picture of the moon above my apartment from my deck outside. I live next the I5 and I saw this the other night. I didn't realize that we were going to have a second full moon in one month. That is rare, I gather from what some people are saying, I have no idea. This is the first nature shot I have taken since I have received my camera back. I've been enjoying it, and have had some major fun. I can't wait until I can go on some nature walks and take more pictures.

More Pictures Of Me.

Me with make up on. Wow

Amber and Russ. It was Monte's birthday and this was on his deck.

Monte, Amber, and I

Amber and I

Sunday Serenity #4

Well, this week, it's been tough, too many thoughts buzzying in my brain cells after my near death experience and facing the challenges of yet another change that I must make for me. Something that brings me serenity has been a tough one for me today, but getting out and getting some fresh air. Feeling the sun on my face, the breeze on my body, and accomplishing something on my own, brings me peace of mind.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Home On Leave

This afternoon my nephew Jesse and my sister in law Kris called to invite me out to lunch, before he goes back on Sunday. It was great seeing them both, here are a few pictures of Jesse and Kris that I took. He is going to Iraq in November, I’m sad about it, but he is in my prayers.