A great journey in progress!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Three Things

1. Jamiers
2. Jam
3. Mcwalker

1. Huge ugly snakes
2. Losing loved ones
3. Truck drivers

1. Being with people I love
2. The smell after a good rain
3. The beach

1. People who are thoughtless, inconsiderate, and reckless with themselves and others.
2. Hominy
3. Snakes

1. Water
2. A good bra
3. Cheese

1. My purple tie die shirt
2. My purple lounge pants
3. Hair claw

1. Their humor and wit
2. Glowing eyes
3. Their hands

1. Photography
2. Reading books
3. Growing plants outside and indoors.

1. Pay all my bills off in full.
2. My sister Vickie to come out for a visit from Alabama
3. For my headache to go away.

1. Photographer
2. Counselor
3. A massage therapist

1. Hawaii
2. Italy
3. France

1. Travel around the world.
2. Meet Oprah (I agree Kelly)
3. Reach all my goals without losing the sense of who I am, and the people who love me.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Signs From A Movie

I see myself in the character of Frances in the movie “Under The Tuscan Sun”. This morning, because I am having feelings that are welling up inside of me, I decided instead of eating, I will watch a movie. “Under The Tuscan Sun” is one of my favorite movies ever, though this morning, I saw it in a whole new light. I got some wisdom, advice, soul warmth from the movie that I didn’t before. Has that ever happened to you? You have watched a movie many times, then one particular time, suddenly, like a flash, there is a new aspect you never thought about before. So, like a student, waiting to gleam from a teacher, I took down my thoughts during the movie.
What fully brought my attention to this new insight was what Patty said to Frances at the restaurant. “I think you’re in danger of never recovering. You know, when you come across those empty shell people and you think to yourself, what the hell happened to you? There comes a time in each one of those lives that they were standing at a crossroads, someplace where they had to decide to turn left or right. This is no time for you to be a chicken shit.” This bold, blunt comment made me realize some things about myself. I have two roads that I can go on, they have been starring at me for a long, long time. I have chosen not to look in either direction. I have chosen to stay stagnate. I’m not blaming anyone for my decision. I have had some great people in my life who have been telling me for the last three years, since my independence day about my stagnation. Two truly awesome friends Amber and Monte, have taken the bull by the horns and moved on with the crippling pains and rejections that they have experienced in their lives and made themselves happier and more content. This ability is something that I admire and respect about both of them. Though they are still struggling, at least they are moving towards the right direction for them. I am happy for them. They both deserve it. My sister Vickie, she is more blunt, but has a heart of gold, I am glad that we are from the same blood line. I realize that I have many strong courageous women in my life, though they have different beliefs, talents, opinions, and paths, they have still stood by me and encouraged me, though I have been standing in the cesspool that I have been in. My mom, Vickie, Carri, Kris, Joy, Sarah, Nichole Amber, Linda, Jackie, Carissa, Lorraine, and there have been several guys too, Rob, Rick, Jesse, Joshua, Russ, and Monte. I feel blessed for these wonderful people in my life.
I’m still in uncharted territory and there are a lot of my questions that I have not received answers too yet, patients is not a virtue of mine at all.
Another good dialogue in “Under The Tuscan Sun” is when she is talking to Catherine. Catherine’s advice from her beloved FeFe is “Live spherically, in many directions, never lose your childish enthusiasm and things will go your way.” I liked this because it is good advice. Advice I need to have injected into my brain and remember during the moments that are difficult. During the movie, I felt Frances’ pain, and emotional depression, because I am feeling it in many ways. So, when she is talking to someone and says this, I am wanting the same things and thinking the same thoughts about myself. “I’m sick of being afraid all the time, I still want things. I want someone to cook for, I want a wedding in this house, I want a family in this house.” This hit home for me, because at this point, I’m sick of being afraid all the time. My fear has paralyzed me from the beginning and it is driving me crazy. And I too want someone to cook for and a family. She realizes she has this, and I am slowly doing the same thing. So, when Catherine said to Frances “Regrets are a waste of time, they are the past crippling you in the present. How are you going to be happy, if you keep wallowing? Go work on your house, GO.” Well, I don’t have a house to work on, so I am taking it to mean my body, soul, and spirit. I have been holding onto the past in many ways, not letting things go. I have moments of happiness, but I also run from it. It doesn’t make sense, that something that I crave, I run from. That is how it is for me, I am coming to the understanding, that I can’t change my past. It was what I was dealt, I had no control, and really I don’t have control over anyone else but me. That is something that I must relinquish in order to find my inner peace and sanity. I have to stop letting these negative thoughts, habits, and people that are in my life go and let them run where they need to go. I can’t change them, I can’t make them be who I see them as. I can see all the things they want and I want them to have it, just like they do me too. It isn’t fair of me to criticize them for the self doubts and self abuse they have in their lives, because, hey, I have them too. All I can do is stand by them, just like I’d like them to do for me. I said that my quest this year was finding my balance, my inner strength, peace, and love for me, well, I have been noticing signs, abilities, and it is wonderful at the moment. Just when I needed an uplifting, I sure got one. In a movie, that I have seen a thousand times and it is a heaven sent to me today.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Unknown Facts/Secrets About Me

Subject 35 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:
Body: Be 100% truthful!

1. When was the last time you washed your hair?
Yesterday morning.

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
drinking tea and watching the birds.

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

4. Are you any good at math?

7. Are you mad at anyone right now?

8. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?

9. Last thing received in mail?

10. How many different drinks have you had today?
mint ice tea and water.

11. Do you make wishes on stars?

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?

13. Any plans for tonight?
I plan on staying home, being on the internet, watch some TV, read, and hit the sack.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
being drilled.

16. What's outside your front door?
a hallway and stairs.

17. Do you have plans on Friday night?
this is friday and no I don't. .

18. Do you like the ocean?
Yes, I love the ocean, the beac. The surf is so calming and so is the wet, gritty feeling of the sand on my feet..

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn?
NOt that I recall.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

22. Something you are excited about?
a few things, losing more weight, I've lost 40 pounds now since november when I had my surgery, seeing Amber next Friday, meeting my new baby kitty, spring, plants coming up, and oh yes, the new heros show coming on Monday.

23. Who around you has the most problems?
Me and my people take turns.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?

wheres 25?????

26. Where do you keep your change?
in a bowl.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

28. Do you like anyone right now?
I like everyone in my life.

29. What was the weather like on your birthday?
I honestly don't remember.

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

and wheres 31?????

32. Do you like your middle name?
no, but it is apart of me now.

33.Who are you thinking about right now?
no one imparticular.

34. Do you consider your best friends family?

35. What are you favorite foods?
I love cheese, cheese on lots of things is awesome. Now I know that Mandy and Amber feel the same way. I love it.

A Survey About Me

Survey About You...

1. Name one person who made you smile yesterday:
My sister

2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
drinking tea and watching the birds on my birdfeeder.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
sitting on the couch, watching TV

What is something that happened to you in 1994?
I was working for Marilyn, until she passed away.

5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
I love you and I'll talk to you later.

6. How many different things did you drink today?

7. What color is your hairbrush?
black and silver

8. What is the last thing that you bought?

9. What was the last gift you received for your birthday?

10. What color is your front door?
cream or white

11. Where do you keep your change?
in a bowl.

12. What was the weather like today?
cold, sunny, and wet. Typical north west weather for this time of year.

13. What is the best ice cream flavor?
peppermint chocolate.

14. What is something you are excited about?
spring is coming, court being over, and the 40 pounds I've lost so far.

15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
Last spring, I saw it on my back deck going across the freeway, it was so beautiful.

16. What size shoe do you wear?
10, I have huge feet, but they are mine.

17. Do you have a sister?
Yes, I have three awesome sisters.

18. Are you very random?
I can be, when I'm in the mood.

19. Do you want to cut your hair?
eventually, I'd like to.

20. Are you over the age of 25?
Yep and proud of it too.

21. Do you talk a lot?
depends on who I am around.

22. Do you watch The O.C.?

23. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?

24. Do you know anyone named Charles?

25. Do you make up your own words?
Yes, I've been aggressified, Remember that one Amber? LOL

26. Are you ticklish?

27. Are you typically a jealous person?
Not usually. I think every person can be that way, if they choose to be.

28. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "B":

29. What did the last text message you send say?

30. Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?

31. What did the last text message you received say?
too private

32. Do you chew on your straws?

33. Do you have curly hair?

34. What is the next concert you're going to?
Pat Benetar.

35. Who is the worst person in your life?
Well, I don't have anyone who is horrible in my life anymore. It seems that the people who are not meant to be are not there anymore. Sometimes things happen for a reason and we can't control them and we have to learn from our mistakes and from others. I'm learning that. I've hit the cement wall a few times on that one.

36. How many times have you swore today?

37. What is something you say a lot?
you know what

38. What is the last thing you ate?
sunflower seeds.

39. Have you seen the movie "Donnie Darko"?

40. Do you have work tomorrow?

41. Is marriage in your future?
I can't speculate on that one. If it is, it will happen, if not, it won't.

42. When was the last time you said "I love you."?
today to my sister.

43. what should you be doing now?
putting the clean sheets on my bed.

44. Do you have a nickname?
With different people I do.

45. Are you a heavy sleeper?
I can be.

46. When was the last time you used a skateboard?
when I was younger, Ric and I use to skateboard at the old skating park in Longview.

47. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
I have not been to the movies in ages, so I can't answer this question.

49. When was the last time you did the dishes... be honest?
yesterday, actually the dishwasher did the dishes, I lived without a dishwasher for 11 years and now I am blessed with one. I love it.

50. Are you currently depressed?
I'm getting out of that dark period of my life. I"m choosing to be happy and letting the slanderous people go and do their own thing. What they say, write, tell me, isn't going to hurt me anymore.

51. What are you listening to right now?
myself typing.

52. Favorite Beer?

53. East or West?

54. Import or Domestic?
depends on the beer.

55. DO you drop your cell phone?
Yes, i'm fly like that. .

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A Reading

Celtic Cross Spread
Celtic Cross Spread
WorldTree Tarot
Position 5
5 - What is behind you
Position 3
3 - What completes you

Position 1
1 - What envelops and surrounds you
2 - What crosses you
1 - What envelops and surrounds you

Position 4
4 - What is beneath you (foundation)
Position 6
6 - What lies ahead
Position 10
10 - Where it leads
Position 9
9 - Your hopes and fears

Position 8
8 - What surrounds you
Position 7
7 - This is you
Free Tarot Readings from Mysticgames.com

Monday, February 19, 2007

Photos From A Mad Woman

HI, My Name Is Jamie

1. Hi, my name is... Jamie

2. Never in my life have I... swam with dolphins.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is... My family

4. High school…has good and bad memories for me.

5. When I'm nervous...I bite my nails.

6. The last time I cried was...a few days ago.

7. If I were to get married right now my wedding would be...none existent.

8. My hair is...brown and long.

9. When I was 7...I lived in Wyoming.

10. Last Christmas...was boring.

11. I should be...taking the trash out.

12. When I look down I see...my burgundy blanket.

13. The craziest recent event was...a car backed into my apartment.

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be…Phoebe.

15. By this time, next year...I will be skinnier and happier.

16. My current gripe is...my weight, school, and other things.

17. I have a hard time understanding...humans.

18. There's this girl I know who...is a fabulous mother of two boys.

19. You know I like you when...I listen to your problems and try to help you.

20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...My mom.

21. Take my advice...never lose sight of your dreams.

22. My most wanted item is...a decent car, a new clothes.

23. If you visited the place I was born...you would see that I didn’t turn out so terrible, considering the numb skulls that live there.

24. I plan to visit...Longview.

25. If you spend the night at my house....you would have to sleep on the couch.

26. I'd stop my wedding if...I found out my fiancé cheated on me.

27. The world could do without...crocodiles.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than...that is too gross to answer, sorry.

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself...Yoplait yogurt.

30. Most recent thing someone else bought me...a 20 dollar gift card at Fred Meyers.

31. My favorite blonde is…my big sister, Victoria.

32. My favorite brunette is...Amber Dawn McDaniel Hill Connely.

33. My favorite redhead is...Tori Amos

34. My middle name is...Jean

35. This morning I...replanted all my house plants.

36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are... Humans.

37. Once, at a bar...I tied a cherry stem with my tongue into a knot and got money for it.

38. Last night I was...sleeping.

39. There's this guy I know who...is hilarious, fickle, witty, and charming, but can also be a complete ass, but I like him anyways.

40. I don't know...a lot of things.

41. A better name for me would be...I can’t imagine me with a different name.

42. Tomorrow I am...redecorating and cleaning house…

43. My birthday is...May 21st

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is...peace, hope, and love for everyone.

A Survey To Pass The Time

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
I don’t know, I never paid attention.

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
A long, long time ago, when I went with Amber S. and we had so much fun. I think I was 16 or 17.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends on my mood.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I have been known to be.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Probably, but it doesn’t matter now.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Angelina is a beautiful woman, and is caring. Jennifer is a good woman too. I like them both.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I know some things, but no one, not even the politician know anything about politics.

10. Do you know how to play poker?

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

12. What’s your favorite commercial?
The one where this mother is talking to her baby about a French fry and the baby smacks the mother in the head. I think it is a V8 commercial, it cracks me up every time.

13. Who was your first love?

14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No, I never have done that.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes, who doesn’t.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Baseball is baseball.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Nope, but I want to someday.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
I only remember the ones that I am meant to remember. I believe dreams can give you great wisdom.

19. What’s the one thing on your mind?
A lot of things, actually. How to best cultivate my relationships, keeping the old ones , rekindling some of them, and making new ones. Also career, schooling, etc. And my house plants, weight, gardening, and a whole slew of things.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?

21. What talent do you wish you had?
To draw, paint, and fly and read minds.

22. Do you like Sushi?
Yes, some of it is good.

23. What do you wear to bed?
My pajamas.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
No, hate is a hard word. I do dislike some people, but I don’t wish them harm in any way, they should do what they feel they need to do to be the best they can be. I just don’t have to like their actions or choices. Each person is different and they have the right to be who and how they are.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Lets see, George Clooney, John Stamos..

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Not now, but in my past I have.

27. What food do you find disgusting?

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Truthfully, yes, I have. I choke about them and their actions, I don’t say anything mean or horrible about them. I also do it in front of them too.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes, it is not a good thing. I don’t recommend it to anyone.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Yes, I do. I have seen my fair share and some of them are my friends and family members.


My good friend Amber has a little boy with Autism. It affects a lot of people, I am told. She deals with it and she found and shared this article with me. Her little boy is adorable, smart, and loveable and I hope that a cure is indeed going to happen, it would be an awesome blessing for her and the rest of her family. She has two great kids and it is a mighty job being the fabulous mom that she is. Here are her two kids and click on the title of the blog to read the article about a cure.

Finding My Way Back Home

I found this song on my myspace page, I feel that this is a devine inspiration made for me, nah, that is just my arrogance coming out. I have found inspiration in this song though. It is how I am feeling at this present moment. Taking my time, going donw the road that I must, with patience and vigilance. I now have the song and I can use it as inspiration when I have those dark moments in my life.

Finding My Way Back Home: By Lee Ann Womack.

I’ve been hurrying and I’ve been worrying
I’ve been running against the wind
I’ve been betting my soul on long shot road
That a good man never wins.
I’ve been tossing and I’ve been turning
I’ve been burning it at both ends
I’ve been seeing myself in the rearview mirror
And I don’t like where I’ve been.
So I’m taking my time
Holding and hoping and driving and dreaming and loving every minute of it just enjoying the road.
Slowly and soulfully feeling the wheels unwind, finding my way back home.
I’ve been tooling along the two lane.
I got off the interstate.
I’ve been going too fast.
I got off at the gas.
I’ve been learning the charm of the brake.
I’ve been rolling down all the windows.
And letting the world rush in.
The smell of the grass and the fields that I pass and the sun dance on my skin.

50 Things

50 Things About Me

50 random things about you

1. Where is your mom right now?
At home in Longview, probably sleeping... I hope feeling better...

2. last time you talked to your crush?
I don't have a crush...

3. Name five things you did today.

1. slept in
2. talked on the phone with my big sister
3. made plans with my sister in law Kris to go shopping.
4. Read Inner Gardening and got inspired for my patio garden.
5. Planted my Dahlia bulbs in pots and feed the birds and sqirrels.

4. what color is your watch?
I don't have one, I can't ever have one, I'm bummed. I kill them.

5. what kind of phone do you have?
I dont' know

7. Where does your best friend work?
she is a terrific mom to two fabulous boys.

8. What are you listening to right now?
myself typing

9. What do you smell like?
What kind of question is that?

10. what color are your eyes?

11. Have you ever done a chinese fire drill?

12. What color are your bedroom walls?

13. Do you have a chair in your room?

15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
no, I don't think so. I think Amber and Russ should be, Russ go buy Amber a big old diamond. LOL

16. What's your favorite number(s)?
don't have one

17. Do you know someone named Betsy?

18. What color is your mom's hair?
gray now, but it used to be brown.

19. What shape is the engagement ring you want to give/receive?
I don't know

20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?

21. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

23. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?

24. Do you play an instrument?

25. Do you like fire?
when it can cook me food, light candles, keep me warm, and then the aftermath can give me ashes so I can use them in the garden,.

26. Are you allergic to anything?
I'm not sure

27. When was the last time you cried?
a few days ago.

29. Have you ever been to a spa?
no, but I want to. It would be fun to do that with my girlfriends.

30. Did you take science all four years of high school?

31. Do you like butterflies?
Yes, I do. they are so beautiful.

32. Do you miss someone right now?
a couple of people.

33.Do you think they miss u too?
probably not

34. Have you ever seen your school counselor?
I think I did, it has been so long since I've been in school.

35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?

38. Is anyone jealous of you?

9. Ever been stuck in an elevator?

40. What does your mom call you?
Joy,Carri,Rob, Jamie.... Honey, sweetheart.

41. What do your friends call you?
Jam, Jammers, Hobble McWalker,

42.What does you hair look like right now?
messy, I just woke up.

43. Has a friend ever used you?
yes, unfortunately

44. Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?

45. What have you eaten today?
nothing so far, I just woke up.

46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight

48. Who was the last person you drove with?
My sister Carri, Joanie, Julie, Nichole, Jeremy, and Levi.

49. What are you looking forward to?
March 12th, so I can finally have a few things behind me, the daffodils, tulips, and crocus that I planted. Getting more plants for my patio garden, and maybe some more house plants and getting a kitty, or a fish or maybe both. Oh and going back to school and finally reachiing my goal of 150 pounds next year... LOL

50.How are you today?
Right now, It is great.

Sunday, February 18, 2007


This one is more correct, I do need an adventure, I need one now...

You Are Adventurous... Sometimes

You like an adrenaline rush as much as the next person. You like your thrills in small doses.

You're generally pretty calm and level headed. But sometimes you have to go wild and have a crazy adventure.

Blue Brain

I thought I'd do something fun...
This is my ideal self.

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow.

You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles.

Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

Abomination, No More!

“We must cultivate our own gardens” Voltaire Candid (1759)

This quote jumped out at me, like a deer starring at you, while standing in the middle of the road, the stubborn beast won’t budge and let you move on down the road. I have been in a whirlwind of doubts, self destructive abuse, negative actions and thoughts recently, because hey, you learn what you are taught, right? The people who really know me know my past and what my road looked like from before and what I am going through now to change my destination and how I perceive myself and others around me. I put error signs up in my mind all the time, but sometimes I let myself down with the negative shit that seems to pop up out of nowhere. Especially, yesterday, while talking to one of my big sisters, she listened to me whining and I got told you just ruined my happy day. Well, truthfully the sun was out and it was a glorious day, I was sitting at home gloomy because of a certain event that happened to me 3 years ago today and all the negative shit that I still have to put up with his family. Who got the things they wanted out of our house and now they want more, so I have to stand up and fight for myself and what I deserve. Hey, I spent 11 years taking care of him, doing the best that I can do with a man who is so stubborn and who thought he knew everything and bending to his will, so he won’t be unhappy… That was hard work, it nearly killed me, and I am still reaping the benefits from that lousy choice that I made when I was 20 years old. Let me tell the 20 year olds out there, you don’t know everything and the decisions and the choices you make will inevitably bite you in the ass. Believe me, I’ve been bitten a few times. I don’t’ want to be the negative, vindictive, self abuser, that I am inevitably becoming, so I need to reroute the wheel, so to speak. If I am miserable, then the people who I know love and care about me are miserable watching me becoming miserable. I’m going to end up, like Rick, no family, or friends who truly want to be around you, because you are too cement headed to realize the good things and be the good person you know you are. So this is my last bitchy, whiny, and angry blog about my life. I’m tired of it.
I’m hoping that March 12th will be a good thing for me and for the obstacle that is in my way, that we both will benefit and be happy with what happens. I’m hoping to get some of the things that needs to get done in my life done. I hope to be the happy, go lucky woman that I know I am. I hope to stay focus on the path that I am meant to be following. I want the people who are my family and friends to be happy and loved too. And I even wish that on my enemies.
My fears on this new journey is, I don’t want to be a selfish person, not being able to help my fellow man when in need, either. See balance is the key to everything, I believe this with my whole heart. The key, I guess, is in finding that balance for me. Every individual has their own balance and I just have to find mine.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Photo Collage Crazy!!!

I'm having fun putting my photos in this slide shows that I have found.

Photo Collage 2

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Time To Change Is Approaching

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, because a major anniversary of an event that happened 3 years ago is coming up again. I hate this time of year, no it is not Valentine’s day, it is a death of someone that was once important and dear to me. The only difference this year is that I’m tired of the remembrance, dwelling, and opening myself up to the negative feelings, emotions, and deeds of this person in my life. The negative things that he did to his family and his friends made him a lonely, self destructive person, and I find myself becoming that way. I can see this, I want to change this, I have been accused from a long time friend that I don’t follow through on my plans. I let things stand in my way, like, self doubt, negative feelings, confusion, and a certain somebody, who in reality doesn’t want to be in my way at all. In fact, the people who are in my life want me to become the Jamie that I know and they know I can be. As the time is approaching, a lot of things are becoming more in perspective, my dream, my passion, my hope, my fears, my challenges, my faults, and mostly my problems that I need to focus on, instead of helping and focusing on others. I am not accusing or blaming anyone, it is my decision and my choice that I have made. It is just time to take the bull by the balls, so to speak and accomplish what is I am suppose to and do what I want to do, despite the anger that I am instilling in my older, and much loved big sister. My family and friends I believe and hope will support me no matter what I do. I don’t have many friends or family that I can count on, but I do have a few.

Another Photo Collage

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Friday, February 02, 2007

Somebody To Be

Rob Thomas’ CD “Somebody To Be” is awesome. I love all the songs on it. I felt nurtured while listening to it tonight. My sister Vickie sent it to me, because it is rare to find a CD that you love all the songs from, at least for it is.
This song is one of my favorites and it is called “This Is How A Heart Breaks.”

Don't you wanna go for a ride
Just keep your hands inside
And make the most out of life
Now don't you take it for granted

Life is like a mean machine
It made a mess outta me
It left me caught between
Like an angry dream I was stranded

And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake
And I don't know how much more I can take

This is it now
Everybody get down
This is all I can take
This is how a heart breaks
You take a hit now you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
This is how a heart breaks

Don't you wanna go for a ride
Down to the other side
Feels so good you could cry
Now won't you do what I told you
I remember when you used to be shy
Yeah, once we were so fine
You and I why you gotta make it so hard on me

And I'm sorry but it's not a mistake
And I'm running but you're getting away

You're not the best thing that I knew
Never was never cared too much
For all this hanging around
It's just the same thing all the time
Never get what I want
Never get too close to the end of the line
You're just the same thing that I knew back before the time
When I was only for you