A great journey in progress!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Thanksgiving Horoscope.

Yeah, right, they are complete idiots with alcohol in them. I do make a mean pumpkin cheesecake, although, I hate pumpkin. Who would have though?

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Gemini

You're the sign most likely to bring up interesting and controversial topics at Thanksgiving dinner.

Your signature dish: Sweet potatoes with marshmallows

Your signature dessert: Pumpkin cheesecake

This holiday: Play bartender. You're family is much more lively with a few drinks in them.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Breast Cancer


This website is chaulk full of information about breast cancer. I know that when I was 19, I found my first lump in my breast, I know my mom, sister, and aunts have had them. It is important to check and keep track of your body.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Cold, Wet, Flooding

Preparing for a life changing event is a difficult course to undertake. I’m discovering this, as I am gathering all the tools that I am going to need to step out into the ocean of events. One of the stones I am stepping on to cross the great wide river of self appreciation concerns my weight. Food is one of those comforts that’s been there for me, when life’s biggest disappointments strikes me. The death of Rick, my dad, losing a cherished friend, moving, emotional stress of any kind, I turn to big old bear hug of a block of cheese.
I have been afraid of changing, it’s the fear of the unknown, it’s the fear of succeeding, or maybe it’s the fear of discovering a part of myself that I didn’t realize existed. These muddy illusions of what I think I want, need, feel, or desire give way to the reality of how things are. The death of my old ways is here, I have to slowly take the matches and light up the old and then immerse into the new. The moon, does this cycle of growing full and then slowly dying back down into a small crescent. I’ve been shown that I must learn the lunar ways, death is a part of life, so is the emulsification of all the forms of life that we know. Why is death the hardest to accept and enjoy? Maybe it is the cold, wet, rainy, flood like weather we are experiencing the last couple of days, maybe it is the events that are changing, and seeing cycles that I want to change that are voicing inside of my head. Yelling at me to do something and live your life, Jamie. All I know is my dreams have been wonderments of knowledge, advice, and parallels that I must acknowledge. Especially, concerning one person in my life. The universe is telling me something and I must heed to it’s call and do something before I become the vicious woman that I do not want to be.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Charlotte Martin

I discovered Charlotte Martin a year or so ago, a friend on myspace suggested that I listen to her. I like her a lot, right now this song is standing out to me. I am feeling this way about myself with several different people in my life.

On Your Shore: By Charlotte Martin

I dig my heels into the dirt cause this one's gonna hurt
Won't let the waves wash me away is what I always pray
In my heart I know you didn't see in the dark or find your way through me
Now I'm alone my hands are numb how do I carry on

At the turn of the tide I feel this part of me die
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?

Now I'm held hostage in my head with every word you said
God all those lessons in my past I spit them out so fast I
See myself
With you I act so small see myself with you I always crawl
So someone leave a raft for me the water's getting deep

At the turn of the tide I feel this part of me die
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?

Here I am in my insecurity
Here I am with my damaged dignity
Here I am you're pulling me in too deep
Here I am
Here I am, I'm in the mercy seat
Here I am, running without my feet
Here I am, oh what's come over me
Here I am

When I was melting in your hand you didn't understand
You slip through me like grains of sand you still don't understand
Overboard I'm thrown out to see what you are and what I mean to me
But I will always have my dream where you can swim to me

At the turn of the tide I feel this part of me die
I've been on your shore before and it was no waste of time
Over my head and in my mind
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive

Am I washed on your shore and barely alive

By Charlotte Martin

The clues to you and I are sprawling out like roads
And if we find a place for them they won't lead home
I only meant to say it once but it's too late
I'm into you and out again

The rotted love manipulates me
The rotted love that twists the fates seem
A bit confused by my reflection
'Cause if we die there's still direction and

I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I you we're not thinking my stromata

If I can think on purpose then you'll be right here
A paranoia got the best of what I hold dear
The cold linoleum is talking up my shoes
Deciphering the truth of us

And now I know what I'm about to lose
Now I know what I'm about to choose
Now we go for some reaction
A little game of who's distracted more and

I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I you we're not thinking my stromata

And see the disappointments walking in their line
But every step they take is perfectly in time
I'm singing you in every breath I'm left to heave
I feel your arms surrounding me

And when I'm in a dirty river
And my receiver meets her giver
I set a trap to come and catch you
Oh someone stop me now I can't do this

I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I you we're not thinking my stromata
I I we're not thinking my stromata
I I we're not thinking my stromata
I I we're not thinking my stromata
I I we're not thinking my stromata

Love Let Go Of Me

I discovered this song on Trisha Yearwoods Album, Inside Out. It caught me off guard, because it is beautifully written and the picture it paints in your heart is liberating.

Love Let Go (Hugh Prestwood)

Since I heard the whistle Of a mournful midnight train Sing a little duet With a siren in the rain The sang about true love Between the damned and the devout And right then for a moment The fire in me blew out And for a moment I felt my shackled heart unchained It was right then...instant liberation It was not long...but I was set free It was release...for a moment love let go of me Once I saw the moon rise As the sun climbed into bed They both shone on each other 'Til the sun blushed ruby red And then a pair of swallows Silhouetted cross its face And my heart pirouetted Through the twilight with their grace And for a moment I was not a prisoner of love It was right then...a little liberation It was so quick...but I was set free It was release...for a moment love let go of me

Links To Dreams



Dreams, Dreams, What Do They Mean?

There is a subject that has been on my mind for a long time now. It is something that I’ve been conflicted with since a little girl. Something that I’ve been ashamed to share with anyone, only a close few, because from the history of my family, you are considered crazy or “influenced by Satan” if you speak of such things. Though in the beloved Bible that my guardian parents loved and believed was so full of truth and great insight, they still felt it this way about it, Daniel, and other prophets had dreams that were divine answers from God, they held them in high regard. Women were not considered to be of high value or instruments used by God in this way, only as child barriers and hostess in their home. I do not share my parents views or a few of my families views on God and religion. I have my own set of views of what I believe. The reason I am so heavily compounded by this subject is that I have dreams, dreams that are mere reflections of what has happened. When anyone I care deeply for is inflicted in any way or it is coming their way, I dream about them and know what they are going to tell me before it happens. It is scary to me, I don’t know what this spiritual and powerful journey is taking me or why or where I received it from. Vickie my older sister has this ability also. It is a connection to the universe and to source that is new to me, though I‘ve had it all along. I never acknowledged it, because of the fear of being viewed as a lunatic. I do not know how to accept it or if it is because I am a loony person. I do not think it is because I am crazy at all. I believe there are others out there, who possess this same quality. How do you cherish this and cultivate this, so you are more aware of it? This is my question. I am scared of it at times, especially when it unfolds before me. Is it a warning, is it a chance for me to heal or help someone else by listening to them, so I am not caught off guard by their pain, so I know how to react? I do not know. I usually need answers to these questions. I am a seeker of understanding and knowledge, but I am discovering that this is something I am not going to be able to answer.
To help me quench this desire in my heart and soul, I decided to do some basic research on dreams. On this website they have some interesting dreams facts, such as. Dream interpretation dates back to 3000 B.C. They held great respect and even the Greek and Roman’s had dream interpreters who traveled with them into battle.
Even Christians, in the old testament book of Daniel had dream interpretation from their beloved prophet. He is held in high regard, at least in my family. My mom use to tell the story of Daniel in the lion cage and how angels helped him out of it. And the one story I will remember is when Daniel does not reveal his interpretation to the king Nebuchadnezzar, he is punished. In the Christian view, at least from what I was taught when Jesus came dreams and such were not needed anymore. I do not share that opinion.
Even the Wiccan’s have their own dream Gods/Goddess’ that help them on their dream travels. It isn’t just one religion, one culture, it is a vast majority that use dreams and their knowledge to show them the path of truth. This is a curiosity to me, since in some way I have possession of this. Symbols in dreams mean things to people. My sister Joy has symbolic dreams, where each object, animal, or being means something, some choice or decision she must face up to. I believe that myself, I have those too, but it goes much further for me. I am never at war within myself when I have these dreams. It is what Oprah coined an “Ah Ah, moment”. If there is anyone out there who has more information or insight I’d be most interested in your shared knowledge.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

My Accent

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The South
The Inland North
The West
North Central
The Northeast
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

Friday, November 03, 2006

Movie Questions

1. What's your favorite movie genre? I like most genre’s. I’m not too choosy.

2. Name five movies you'd recommend to friends? 1) Underworld 2) Miss Congeniality 3) Under The Tuscan Sun 4) Pretty In Pink 5) all the saw movies (if you like scary movies.)

3. Do you ever watch a movie simply because of the actor in it? If so, who? Yes, John Candy, Denziel Washington, and Sandra Bullock.

4. If a movie you're planning on seeing is based on a book, do you read the book? Are you generally disappointed with one or the other? Yes, I read the book that the movie comes from. Yes, I was not impressed with Lord Of The Rings movies at all.

5. If you've ever watched a movie based on a true story, have you ever then looked to see how closely the movie followed the actual events? No, I don’t think I’ve done that, but it sounds like a good idea.

6. Do you ever watch Indie movies or do you stick with only the main stream? Yes, I have watched Indie movies. My friend Amber introduced them to me and we have fun watching them together.

7. Do you collect the movies on DVD that you've really enjoyed to watch again? Yes, I have a few movies on DVD.

5 Questions For Friday

1) Tell us about where you live: I live in Vancouver, Washington. Vancouver is a quant town that is not that far from Portland Oregon, right across the river to be exact.

2) If you could change one thing about your home, what would it be? I would have more art on the wall, I would make it a more homey feel.

3) Do you do laundry on a regular schedule? Yes, of course.

4) Describe the place that you sleep: I sleep in my bedroom on a queen bed.

5) This morning: was it easy or difficult to start the day? Pretty easy.