Under The Tuscan Sun

I watched on of my favorite movies tonight, Under The Tuscan Sun, Francis went to visit this vivacious woman that is full of life and she went up to this woman’s apartment and she told her to “Stop Wallowing”. That hit a nerve with me. I have been wallowing in the pain for so long, that I do not know what the light of day looks like. This pit of hell that I made for myself is tiring me out.
Upon examination, I realized that I have let myself go again. It shows, in my appearance, my apartment, and most importantly in my relationships. I am tired of the negative talk that overtakes me at different aspects of my day. I think I am going mad, when I criticize myself, my friends, my family, and every one else, especially in reality I am not any better than of them. I realize recently that this is a family trait, putting others down, gossiping about them behind their backs, pointing fingers, and most importantly putting guilt trips on them. I hate it. It drives me nuts to think that I have become like that. I do not want to be that way.
So on this rainy Sunday morning, after writing a long essay, I decided to stop wallowing in the pain and move on down the line. Now I need to get the rubber boots on and start wadding into the discovery of the deep waters of me…….