Peace, Love, Joy, and Inspiration...

My first full week of work ended last Saturday. I like my new job, Edna is a wonderful, wise lady. I met her son, grandson and his wife, and it is nice to work with a family who clearly loves their mother and grandmother so. Life is full of interesting things that seem to happen in ones life. I discovered a secret about myself and also about some of the people in my life. Life changes, sometimes we are ready, sometimes we are not. I don’t know why, today, I am feeling full of wisdom, insight, and wonder at the many things that are happening around me. My friend, who has been a playboy, since I met him three years ago, found the one that he wants to marry. He told me on Friday. I am so happy for him, I am also a bit sad, because that means our relationship is going to change, but that is clouded by the happiness and pride I am taking in him and the new found changes he is making in his life. I am going to miss our late night talks and the time we spent together. Yet, I am also happy for him too. Cassandra is a wonderful woman. I hope with all my heart that this time it works out how he wants it to. I saw him today, we had one of our deep, inspirational talks, it helped in a lot of ways and I hoped it helped him too. It helped me to say goodbye to the old friendship that we had, and hello to the new one we are going to build. Hello, to the new phase in my life as well. I don’t feel compelled to help anyone, but me. It is a strange feeling, I’m used to being the caretaker, the encourager, but now, I don’t feel that dragging on me. It is a peaceful feeling. It helped to hear that I am important to him, that I matter to him, that I am a good and close friend to him. It helped knowing this and also seeing his face when he told me, he was happy with our conversation, because I am not being negative, insulting, or critical of this girl or him either, not like the ones in the pass. Well, if you knew them, you’d understand why. I am proud of him, I am proud of the growth that he is making in his life, and I am also proud of me. I am making clear cut changes, though the pruning is difficult, it is necessary for me to grow as a woman, friend, sister, aunt, and mostly for my own sake. I want more than a so, so existence. I deserve it, I want it, I crave it, and most of all, I’m striving for it. It has been three years, when the death of my life began. Now, I am seeing the green growth of my life, in my body, mind, soul, and spirit. My sister Vickie is coming the first week in November, I’m so looking forward to that visit. I’m excited, because, well, I haven’t seen her in awhile, not only that. I want her to see the woman that I am now, not the one I was in 2002, when she saw me in my environment. I admire, Vickie so much, she is a wise woman, helped me out of my mental anguish, because she has lived the life that I lived. She is so much happier, healthier than she was before. I am proud of her too. I, actually, have a couple of awesome women in my life, who have gone before me. I also have a couple of awesome friends in my life too. Monte is one of them. I am sending him blessings and Cassandra too. I am also sending blessings to Vickie, Joy, Carri, Amber Dawn, Amber May, and my friend Christina. I wish them happiness, love, joy, and peace that lasts…