My Challenge

Life can throw you fist fulls of challenging, agrivating, and humorous situations. I've been dealt a heavy blow, actually several. A quote from my dad "Life is full of change, you either sit there and die in them, asking why is this happening to me, or you can accept it and go with the flow of this challenge and smile anyway." I never fully understood this, not until now.
My weight is a huge issue, one of the biggest challenges of my life. Guess what? I can't blame anyone but myself. I am an emotional binge eater, you know the type. The ones who don't eat in front of anyone, but when they get alone, they pig out. I do that, I can clean out my fridge in one night. I am serious, I have done that in emotionally challenging situations. Though, in the four years since my independence day, I have lost 100 pounds, I still do have 120 pounds more to lose. Yes, I am being honest about my weight, my eating habits, and the formidable challenge of making a change in my life style so that I can be healthy again. At age 34, I've developed heart failue and one collapsed lung. So, something sure does need to change, or I will be buried deep in dirt and no more enjoyments of life. The devastating news from the doctor, that I am not eligible for a surgery that would help improve my life, because of my fatness, makes me feel like a failure of life and beyond. Because, I've done some things to improve my life, which have helped somewhat, but then again I don't totally follow through on them. So, my challenge, is to become more of a follow through kind of gal, and actually take those vatiamins that I have, eat properly, meaning don't pig out on those cold lonely nights, or because some thoughtless jerk hurt my feelings, or because I'm bored out of my mind. That is the challenge, the real challenge that I am facing. Because, to be honest, I've taken care, entertained, took on other people challenges, that I've neglected my own. I'm not sure where my soul, my passion, my talent is. I do have an idea, but it isn't formated fully into my spirit, where I can pull them out of me to actually doing them. Admiting my faults, not hiding the truth of my weight battle, or the other battles of my life, is probably the wisest first step I have done and I am hopefuly that I can continue on a path that is more into the enlightenment phase I want to be in. I am going to blog, and I do have some resources that I hope to enlist in the near future. It's not hopeless! A weak smile, but it is still a smile.