Time To Change Is Approaching

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, because a major anniversary of an event that happened 3 years ago is coming up again. I hate this time of year, no it is not Valentine’s day, it is a death of someone that was once important and dear to me. The only difference this year is that I’m tired of the remembrance, dwelling, and opening myself up to the negative feelings, emotions, and deeds of this person in my life. The negative things that he did to his family and his friends made him a lonely, self destructive person, and I find myself becoming that way. I can see this, I want to change this, I have been accused from a long time friend that I don’t follow through on my plans. I let things stand in my way, like, self doubt, negative feelings, confusion, and a certain somebody, who in reality doesn’t want to be in my way at all. In fact, the people who are in my life want me to become the Jamie that I know and they know I can be. As the time is approaching, a lot of things are becoming more in perspective, my dream, my passion, my hope, my fears, my challenges, my faults, and mostly my problems that I need to focus on, instead of helping and focusing on others. I am not accusing or blaming anyone, it is my decision and my choice that I have made. It is just time to take the bull by the balls, so to speak and accomplish what is I am suppose to and do what I want to do, despite the anger that I am instilling in my older, and much loved big sister. My family and friends I believe and hope will support me no matter what I do. I don’t have many friends or family that I can count on, but I do have a few.