Lap Band

I haven’t been on the internet for a few months, things happen that you cannot change or do anything about sometimes. I’m not gonna dwell on that subject at all, the important thing is I’m back on.

I am facing a new chapter in my life, in several areas. I have made a conscious, difficult, and painful decision. The muck of denial I immersed myself in for so long, concerning my weight and my health, the shades of denial, overlooking, giving up, loathing of myself is on a perpetual spin in a new and different direction. I have opted to get the Laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding done. I’ve been thinking about this procedure for years and years. I am finally going for the gold, concerning my weight and health. My weight finally caused me to suffer extreme health issues that I am having right now. I have to be a fighter for myself and I realize this is for my health. I do not want to become a cripple at age 33 and be the way I am now. Something has to give, and I know what it is finally. I am not good at follow through, I never have been in my life. It is easier to deny, lie, and do whatever it takes to make that other person happy for the moment, even if it meant I lost my dignity in the process. That is no more. I made the first step by contacting the “Legacy Good Samaritan Obesity Institute” in Portland Oregon. I went to their information seminar and I got the application and I filled out the paperwork and mailed it in today. Hopefully, soon I will be hearing from them concerning this surgery and get the changes started. I have read the many pamphlets and researched it on my own, as well. I am confident with my decision, I am at peace that this is the path that I am meant to be on. When Rick passed away from complications from obesity two years ago, I knew then something needed to be done. I lost weight, but I have not been able to go pass the 300 pound mark. I always gained and lost, it is difficult and painful for me. I am opening up about my weight issues, these feelings that I am going through. I am grateful that I have a few people in my life who are going to support me through this life alternating experience. I am sending a huge thank you, I love you, and you are awesome to these people. My mom, my brother Rob and his family, my sisters Vickie, Joy, and Carri, my dear sweet friends Monte, Amber, and Christina. It means a lot to me to have all your support.