Decisions

Decisions have been hard for me to decide on for a long time. Watching Oprah with Sidney Poiter and listening to him talk, has given me some divine wisdom that I have been needing. His book, which I cannot wait to buy and read “The Measure Of A Man”, his spiritual biography, knowing who you are and standing up for you. Takes great courage and discipline that I wish could contain. I’m getting there, slowly and surely, I am getting there. I have been putting off making plans, increasing my future, believing in me, and using the negative doubts that bombard me continually as excuses to stay stagnate in what I am perceiving a hopeless situation. Is it that hopeless, really? Truthfully, taking action, improving yourself, doing the work that is necessary to achieve what I want to achieve is my ultimate goal. It is in the details, that I can find my true happiness and calling in this life of mine. I’ve been feeling hopeless for a long time, but is my situation that hopeless. I do have family and friends that want me to be myself. So, while chatting with my sister Joy, watching Oprah with Mr. Poiter, and then seeing my friends working towards their life strategies. I decided that I must do the same for me. I can’t sit here in the dark mess that I have been in anymore. I am busting myself out. There are things I want, and frankly, I deserve them. After all, I have done what I could and know for long enough. The old has to die and it has be killed off today.

1. I want to lose the 121 pound that I have left. I already lost 115 in 3 years, so I can lose the rest and keep it off.

2. I want to get back into reading and exploring authors. And having a well rounded library of my own.

3. I want to develop my music tastes and discover new musicians and artists. I want a good media collection of my own.

4. I want to go to art museums and discover what it is I can do that is artistic.

5. I want to cultivate the relationships I already have and make new ones.

6. I want to have my own patio garden or ground of my own.

7. I want an expansive wardrobe collection and discover the fabulous woman that I am.

8. I want to have a comfortable, inviting home for myself and guests.

9. I want no clutter or junk that I am using around me at all.

10. I want to go back to school, get my general AA and get a great paying job or start my own business of some sort.

11. I want to get my digital camera back and go on road trips and take fabulous pictures.

12. I want to develop my spiritual side of myself.
13. I want to have balance in my mind, body, and spirit. Taking care of all my needs.

14. I want to spend time with family and friends.

15. I want to have my own movie collection.

16. I want to have financial security and responsibility.

Well, that is about it. Come to think of it, some of it I am already on the road to doing.