The Bad Boy Complex.

I wouldn't consider myself a romantic type of girl, but I do enjoy a good romantic movie now and again. I like Grease 2 better than one, maybe because I understand Stephanie better than Sandy. I've never been the sweet, polite girl. I was more like the brass, blunt girl who loves motorcycles, though, perferably, I'd rather drive them than be on the back of one. LOL Anyway, here are two youtube videos from Dirty Dancing and Cool Rider. Yes, Stephanie I totally understand your desire for a cool rider, I want one myself.lol And in Dirty Dancing, I want someone who will stick up for me.

The Flame Of Hope.

Been busy packing, preparing myself emotionally and physically for the move back to my home town of Longview Washington. Officially, I'm moving out of my apartment on the 28th, of February. I took the picture above last night while doing a ritual to release negative energies and restoring positive into my life. I feel so much better after doing the process. My friend Amber did it with me at her own home.



My new dog buddy Christy. My nephew Rick's dog. They have 4 dogs, 5 cats, and 7 bunnies. I am moving into an apartment that's on their property, so I will be having some critter buddies. I'm not dreading this move, not as much, as I thought I would. I've been missing having critters, and it'll be nice to get to know Rick and Jessica his wife.




The flame from my candle brought a lot of peace and hope into my soul, and even the ritual and meditation. It's amazing. I have been so blessed, my friend Monte came and helped me pack on Sunday and so did another friend Amber. More to do, yet the hope and peace I feel have stayed...

Hope

Moving

Yep, I am moving back to Longview by the end of February. Got a lot of stuff to do, and I have to deal with all these emotions that seem to fly out of nowhere. I am currently at my nephew Rick's house. His wife Jessica is a wonderful woman and I can see myself gaining some valuable knowledge about creativity from her, plus the pack of dogs to love on and touch will be awesome. I'm already friends with Christy. I am hoping to go home tonight so that I can get started. I am still suffering on my left leg, my right leg seems to be strong. Now if I can just take some steps without hacking up my lung, then I will be good. Will write more when I get home.

Barack Obama

Got this in an email, thought I'd try my knowledge of the 44th President of The United States.
Still recovering from my cold or whatever it is. I went for my heart tests yesterday, I actually saw my heart on the screen, quite fascinating, a bit scary, seeing my heart on the screen left me in awe. I have started a new book by the Dalai Lama, I bougth it over a year go, "How To See Yourself As You Really Are." Still trekking along on my path of self nurture.

You Got 7/10 Questions Right

You are a probably a news junkie, Obama fan, or both. You know a lot about Barack Obama - including his politics, history, and family. It's likely you're a very knowledgeable person and quite well read. You can't stand ignorant people, no matter what their political persuasion is.

How Much Do You Know About Barack Obama?

Happy Inauguration

I am happy for Obama. I'm excited. I am looking forward to watching what I can find on the net about his inauguration.
Yet, the gloomy cloud of discontent follows me, not because of him. The beginning of my 2009 has not gone well, so far. I finally set up the physical theraphy, start that on Friday and more test this morning. Ugh!

Healing Waters

Circle Of Life

Did you see the Oprah webcast of Bob Green on Monday evening? I watched and I learned. One of the exercises that he recommended to do was the "circle of life". I did it, what I discovered, I am deficient in all my areas. I am certainly off balance in all areas of my life. No wonder my soul screamed at me that this is the year of nurturing yourself. Everything that happened in the last few weeks happened for the soul purpose of getting me back on track. I have a tendency to be in a hurry, quick fixes, get to where I am going, get it done as fast as possible. I have to slow down, because of my knees and my breathing problems. I am having a hard time with slowing down, smelling the roses and looking around me, enjoying the meditation of walking and doing. Thank you Oprah for the webcasts you are sharing. I hope everyone else is learning as much as I am.

Five Days In Babylon

Five Days in Babylon by P.L. Reiter

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
If you want to go on an adventure, full of bombs, murder, sex, bio logical weapons, and adrenaline, then read this book. Jack, a Vietnam vet, Maria, who gets a rush bombing and murdering people, all in the name of the ELF, an organization that wants peace and a green earth. For the most part, I enjoyed reading "Five Days In Babylon", though some parts were hard for me to swallow. Maybe because I had a hard time with Maria's charachter, until I got to a certain part of the book and then I understand what the heck was going on. I would recommend this book, especially, if you enjoy the TV show 24.


View all my reviews.

MMM, Pancakes

Not having a good morning, woke up hacking and sniffling. Did not sleep well either, so I got dressed, drove my car for the first time in over a week to the drug store, bought myself some Nyquill, and also ibuprofen with sleep aide, and now I am waiting for the sleep to finally hit. I have not had much of an appetitite since the ordeal with my knees began, which is unusual for me. I am an eating machine when I want to be. I indulged myself and got myself some gummi bears. I have a fond memory of my real mom getting me 7 up and gummi bears when I was sick, so I felt nostalgic.
I got this quiz in my mailbox this morning, I love pancakes, especially buttermilk ones. They have me pegged right in this one, sometimes they don't get it right. Anyway, I am starting to feel the affects of my medicine... Healing sleep is heading my way...

You Are Buttermilk Pancakes

Your prefer traditional, old fashioned foods. You shy away from anything fake, and you like meals with simple ingredients. It's not likely someone would find margarine or diet soda in your kitchen. Instead, someone might find a loaf of homemade bread baking or a soup simmering.

What Kind of Pancakes Are You?

Floods, Rain, and Other Disasters

This morning, got up and went to get my blood drawn for the tests my doctor wants to run. My arm is a bit sore from where they stuck me with the needle,I always get a bruise when they do that. I am thankful that I at least have one easily accessable vein they can reach, or else I would be seriously screwed.
The snow melted, then it started to rain, guess what that caused? FLOODS! Yep, my home town, which is 40 minutes from where I live in Vancouver have become a flooded disaster. My nephew Rick, luckly has not been asked to vacate his home, nor have my mom and two sisters. Man, what a bang to the new year.
I ventured out on my deck this afternoon to read my book, get some fresh air, and pretend that I am not at my apartment. I can hear the I5 freeway's cars cruising by, hear the seagulls, geese, and other birds fluttering by. I love clouds, water, and trees, so I snapped some shots of the trees. I could see the moon from where I sat and got some pretty photos of it. I am feeling a bit more flexible, never realized how important being flexible was, until I tried to put pants ands shoes on, when your knees hurt. Thankfully, it's healing and I can start on my balance ball again, and maybe the orthopedic will recommend some theraphy to help me on my quest. Enjoy the photos and everyone living in Longview stay dry and healthy.





I5, behind my apartment building...





The moon out tonight.

Musings

Another photo of Frijord the dog, only his face this time. I love dogs, can you tell? I am more of a dog person, than a cat person. Cats, well there are only a few that I have learned to like over the years, but they aren't what I can loveable to me.
Today, I made some progress. I cleaned the house, one crutch, and one hand at a time, since that seems to be how I am getting around these days. I did a load of laundry, garbage detail, dishes, and cleaned up my bedroom, the place where I've been spending most of my time lately. I am hoping to get more done. Man, carrying things with one hand took a great miracle, but am proud that I did it and I got it done. My sister Joy, now is in the same predicament as my mom and I, with our legs, though different ailments. I have no idea what the heck is going on, unless some wicked fairy decided to come after all of us and cause despair, humiliation, and pain to us all. I consider mine a blessing in disguise now, though that took a lot of soul searching to come to that conclusion. You should of seen me laid up at my brother Rob's house, feeling so humiliated, hopeless, and all these negative feelings. What the heck was I going to do to change this pattern in my life? Finally, I got two great doctors, my Orthopedic and Cardiologist, who have taken great care and interest in my well being, so the hope tree is growing and blossoming. I wish and hope the same thing for my mom and sister. Joy, is now in bed, letting her infection heal. I hope that she will take these few days, read her books, meditate, relax, breath, and not take things in life to seriously, that it hurts her health and well being. I do the same thing, so I cannot condemn her for it. Self nurturance is a vital and important thing to do for oneself. I have a hard time withe perservance, understanding, and enduring qualities it takes to fight the medical system or make the doctor and nurses listen to what you are you saying. After visit a doctor like that, you feel more battered than you already are and you just say screw it, not going thru that again.
This year, I decided that I would nurture myself, whatever that means, entails, or becomes thru out the year. I got a food journal to keep track of what I am eating, was hoping to start exercsie, but that will have to happen at a later time, since now medical rest seems to taking over at this moment. Though, I am beginning to apprecaite certain people in my life, that's a good thing.

Hopeful

Frijords paw, the blind leader puppy dog that my nephew Joshua is training to be a guide dog. I took a shot of just his paw, because during the week I stayed at my brothers house, Frijord sat by my legs. I thought, he was born to be a guide dog. I also wanted to test my camera out, see how close of a short I can get, got one of his nose too, like the paw one better. Somehow, a close shot of his nose, doesn't seem to sit well with me.
I am on day two of being home, though home wasn't necessarily where I was at today. I went to the Cardiologist for a checkup, almost two years ago, I was diagnosis with CHF (congestive heart failure). The doctors at Legacy hospital didn't know how else to diagnosis me, so they gave me that label, without explanation. What I thought I knew about CHF today flew out the window and I got a new knowledge that I am thankful for. I am thankful that it isn't my heart, but a form of sleep apnea, and I am soon to be tested. My first battery of tests will be on January 20th, and Thursday, after fasting for 12 hours, a slew of blood work will get done too. They also, think that I developed asthma in my adult life, which I was unaware was possible. I am more hopeful with these two new specialists, who seem to care for their patients. My knees hurt, the pain is manageable with the Ibrupfen, though I am hoping not to live on that stuff for the rest of my life. I am walking with the crutches, finally learned how to use them. They are awkward at first, but with time and practice, I am able to use them to help me get around. While at the doctors office, I discovered that I lost 15 pounds, which doesn't seem to surprise me all that much. My appetite's not been the same since this ordeal over a week ago, the pain, new environment, and new things have gotten me into some sort of loop. I know that change, taking care of yourself, through spirit, body, and mind is important, yet, it's so hard to make that commitment to myself. I am committed.

Don't Worry Be Happy

My first full day home, nothing seems to be going right. Why is it so hard to find a doctor, when you tell them what kind of insurance you have, the reject you? I called a list of 15 doctors, all of them said not accepting new patients at this time. One said maybe in February and to call back then.
I remember Bobby McFerrin back when I was in middle school, 8th grade. "Don't Worry Be Happy", brought a smile to my face then and it still does now. Though, I am understanding the lyrics better than I did when I was 14 years old. Enjoy the video.



http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4

To My Friends!

Enjoy

Home Is Where My Heart Is

I have no idea where to start on this post, except for probably at the beginning. Friday, a little over a week ago, I woke up in extreme pain at my right knee. I stayed in bed, rested, then I tried to get up to head to the bathroom, guess what? Unable to get up, I felt so helpless. So, I called 911, thankfully, one of the ambulance drivers was a woman. She helped me get dressed, while we waited for the fire fighters to help me walk down my cement apartment stairs. How embarassing!
My brother Rob and his wife, kindly took me into their home and nursed me back to health. Yes, I now have arthritis in the knees, now I am going in to see a cardiologist on the 6th to see what is going on with my heart, yet, this whole ordeal left me wondering so many things, from being grateful for my family, to feeling like an idiot. I did say that I am devoting this year to nurturing myself, didn't expect it in this way...

The Journey Of Barack Obama

The American Journey of Barack Obama by The Editors of Life Magazine

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Beautifully illustrated book with some awesome photographs about our new President of the USA. Uplifting writing about the history and journey of this man, things that I did not know, I learned from reading this great book.


View all my reviews.

Got New Shoes, New Book, And New Groove!

The weather outside is frightful and not delightful, the picture above is a sign by my house, yes, it is snowing again. This morning got a phone call from my new neighbor Nechole about there being two packages for me that the UPS deliver guy left for me at her house. So, I went and got them, and had a great visit with Nechole and her two year old boy Michael, got home an hour later, and I got a new pair of shoes, and a delightful book about President Barack Obama that I won. YaY, so will be spending some time looking at the photos and reading the tidbits in the book, just like I did when I got an Audrey Hepburn book for Christmas from Monte this year. A good way to nurture myself, reading and learning about some cool people that I adore. The weather is apt to be the same for awhile, snowy, icy, and cold and I am not going to go anywhere. No need to, thank God. My back is better again, not hurting so much. I haven't taken any medications for it, but I've been sleeping, resting, relaxing with some herbal tea and honey, reading, and old Night Gallery reruns. I am excited that NBC has old episodes of Night Gallery and Alfred Hitchcock on their website, fun to watch, and to reminiscence. I will be doing more of that today, happy Christmas Eve and stay safe and warm.

Rosemary

Hopefully, I've saved my Rosemary plant from the cold freeze we've been experiencing in the Northwest this week. I dug her out of the snow grave yesterday morning and I hope the defrosting in the house will keep her fragrantly alive. I love my Rosemary, the smell, the needles, the uses, the looks, and the fact, that she's difficult to start from seed. Nurture, is what I am planning for 2009, I decided to give myself a week head start, because the need for it is so great. I realize that things cannot go on the way they have been, because I will die, maybe not physically, but spiritually. I read an story this morning, called the Seal Skin, Soul Skin, which can be found in Clarissa Estes book "Women Who Run With The Wolves", that story hit home, and made the choice even more clear for me. I am still having the hardest time even getting started, my back started hurting again, now its included my knee, don't know if its the sadness that I feel inside because of some issues that I am having and my body is saying Jamie, take care of yourself or you will suffer the consequences.
The first day seems to be the hardest. I hope my Rosemary will be nurtured, healthy, and blessed, and I wish that for myself and for others in the world. Stay warm.

The Agency

The Agency by Brian Freeman

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars







Strong characters’, language, easy to read. Though Tess seemed to be a selfish woman at the beginning of the book, I believe she started seeing herself in the eyes of the people around her, especially her ex-best friend Saleema and her soon to be ex-boss Cosima. What struck me most about the story, though I never been in any of the awkward, sexual exploits , or even in the publishing world she wove her life in, I still could identify with her candor, her evaluation of her choices, and even with some of her weakness’. The end of the story, happy, still left me wondering what would have happened to her if that big movie star didn’t call about Oliver’s wonderfully written book, that no one seemed to think had potential but Tess Drake, or weather or not that Cosima got her just deserts or even Sally, a so called friend who betrayed her in the end, or if Dorothy settled that claim that was made against her . Hopefully, there will be a second book, where things are bright for Tess, Emma, Oliver, Dorothy, and Saleema, but doomed to hell for Cosima, Sally, and Jack. All together, a great read that I would recommend, especially for people who enjoy fast paced stories about glitz, glamour, and karma.


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Nurture

My goal for 2009 is the path of nurturing myself, body and soul. I was looking at quotes and I found this lovely writing by Maya Angelou, whom I adore, and found my road map. So, am posting it here to remind me, especially during the times when I am feeling let down and am about to give up my sojourn. I need to get some ink for my printer, so I can print this on some beautiful paper and hang it where I can see it, so I can meditate on it.
Yes, the weather is frightful, not delightful in the least to me, though, this time of year never has been that delightful. I am hoping to get some needed things done in my apartment, you know, the normal chores everyone hates and puts off until the last minute. Thinking about adventuring out for a walk to my mail box today, bring my camera along and take some photos of this crystal, white stuff that looks to be sticking around for awhile. I am 200 pages into a new novel called "The Agency" by Ally O'Brien, that is due to come out in February sometime, but lucky for me, I won a advance readers edition on Goodreads. I am enjoying it, and will post something about it another time. Stay warm...






A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year..."
— Maya Angelou