Pictionary

1. Go to photobucket.com
2. Type in your answer for each question into the PhotoBucket search bar.
3. Choose your favorite photo to represent your answer.
4. Copy the html and paste it here.
5. You can only answer in picture form.

1. What is your 1st name



2. What month is your birthday?





3. What kind of car do you drive?







5. What's your favorite color?




6.Who is your celebrity crush?




7. Where do you work?

Not my exact place of work, but close enough.

a href="http://s178.photobucket.com/albums/w271/pkbaldwin/?action=view¤t=clip_image002-1.jpg" target="_blank">


8. What's your favorite movie?





and





9. What's your favorite clothing line?
Do not have one...sorry



10.What's your favorite vacation destination?




11. What's your favorite dessert?





12. What's your favorite TV show?





13. What are you afraid of?





14. What do you want to be when you grow up?





15. What's the love of your life?







16. What is your favorite accessory?












17. Describe yourself................

A Tree

I've lived at my apartment for almost three years and I have always loved this big tree that proudly stands in my driveway. It is so beautiful, even in the winter. I LOVE trees, shapely, strong, unique, proud, peaceful, not perfect and it makes me think of so many things when I look at them. Why we as a society only want things a certain way, instead of appreciating everyones differences. Beauty, is a soul defining moment, when you realize that though my thighs wobble, I have cellulite everywhere, and other imperfections. I am still beautiful because I smile, because I have a good soul and heart. I love the TV show, "How To Look Good Naked" Carson, impliments this idea into the women he encounters. I am learning to appreciate the things that make me who I am.

Photographs Say So Much

I got all dressed up for an appointment today, so I took some pictures of myself.

Sunday Serenity #22

Meditation brings me serenity. The last two days, I have spent an hour on a meditation CD from Marianne Williamson. Doing something like meditate or take care of yourself brings peace to your soul...

Songs Of Mass Destruction

I am in LOVE. Yes, you read it right, in LOVE. I discovered an album by Annie Lennox called “Songs Of Mass Destruction.” I love Annie Lennox, her voice, her lyrics and songs she picks is wow. I’m listening to it now while I am typing this. The songs she picks makes me think she is a mystic at heart, full of wisdom. I love every song on “Songs Of Mass Destruction.” That does not happen to me often, only a few have done that to me. Here is one of the songs that just absolutely smite me in my heart and soul. The song called “Big Sky”.
ANNIE LENNOX
Big Sky

Big sky
I'm gonna hurt you
Big sky
You'll remember this
Big sky
Up above the rain
How can I ever put a stop to it?
Look you in the face again

Big sky
I'll never let you go
Big sky
Baby I told you so
Big sky
Look at this swollen pride
I got so busy lookin' out for you
When were you by my side?

When I'm breathin'
When I'm sleepin'
I can't think of nothing else
All my longing'
All my waiting'
All my wailin'
All my standin' on the shelf
How am I ever gonna get through this
Back to myself again?

Big sky
I never knew you
Big sky
Let me down again
Big sky
I'm givin' you the blame
How did I ever get stuck in this?
Give me some grace again

Won't you say it isn't so?
Watch me fallin'
See me fallin'
I slipped through
The vortex of the sky
Darkness and light
Is what's inside
Darkness and light
Is what's inside

Check it out, listen to it in a dark room, with your eyes closed, and you will feel every emotion that is behind each song. This album is not one to play while cleaning house, or doing any other task. It is meant to make you contemplate, evaluate, and feel the passion behind every word and note.

Tapestry Of Colors

I found this on a blog that I was reading, it is written by Linda L. and I found it on Nicoles blog. It hit me, because I've been saying this for years. About our lives being a tapestry of the many different people in our lives who weave themselves into our souls. I want someone to draw me a picture of a butterfly with tapestry like wings, to demenstrate this...

As women we are a tapestry - thousands of threads woven together creating who we are in this moment. So many threads and fibres of different colors, textures, and lengths. They cover all apsects of our lives - the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, social beliefs. And yet we are a work in progress - never fully complete as long as we are breathing and making choices.

Our roles are also part of the tapestry - mother, sister, friend, mentor, co worker, lover, neighbor. It is important to create and nurture the relationships with our “sisters” who support, love, play, share, and work with us. I also believe the women in our lives have played a strong part in creating our tapestry.

Natural Beauty

I took this interesting quiz tonight. This weekend, I plan on taking some needed time to evaluate some things in my life. Monday, will be four years since my life took a turn of change and I started on the path I am on now. A lot of good things have happened in the last 4 months, and I want to keep everything that I have gained.


What's Your Style? Find out @ She's Crafty

My Inner Villian

This seemed like a fun quiz to take today on Valentines day.


Your results:
You are Mystique

Mystique 56% Venom 51% Catwoman 51% Poison Ivy 51% Mr. Freeze 47% Dark Phoenix 42% The Joker 37% Green Goblin 36% Apocalypse 34% Kingpin 33% Two-Face 32% Magneto 27% Juggernaut 24% Riddler 22% Dr. Doom 21% Lex Luthor 16%

Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

Indiana Jones & The kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

I absolutely love Indiana Jones. I am excited to see this new one, which is coming out on May 22nd. I know what I am doing on that day... One of the few movies I will go and see at the theaters.
Here is a sneak preview that I snatch from my friend Carissa on myspace showing a trailor.

Trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Good Grief

Sadness overwhelms me today. Though I have only known Georgia and Pete for 3 days, the sadness of not going to their home overwhelms me. I enjoyed my visits to their farm, the cows, dogs, cats, and birds all brought a sense of bliss for me. I enjoy nature, I enjoy helping people, I enjoy sitting in silence with someone, engulf in our own thoughts, and going there brought that into perspective for me. I felt a kinship with Georgia. My process of dying doesn’t include leaving this beautiful Earth, my dying process is killing and getting rid of past doubts, insecurity, and all those demonic monsters in my head that tell me that I am incapable of anything. I want more out of my life and I realize that I am capable of getting to where ever I want to get.
I’ve been so angry, I realized today. I’ve been angry with a lot of people in my life, whom, I have perceived so easily maneuver through life’s hardships and get whatever they want. I’ve been here, angry, sad, resentful, and feeling guilty. Mostly, it is guilt that captures my emotions. I love my family and I love my friends. Every single one of them brought lessons for me to learn from. Vickie, who is my real sister, who fought like hell to get where she is now. Who still struggles through the demons of our mothers abusiveness. The only other person who I feel safe talking about all those horrible memories of our past. Who loves and believes in me no matter what. Amber, who stuck by me and in her quiet way encourages and lets me know when I need to get my head out of my ass. Monte, though we have had turbulent and rocky times, every obstacle I have learned a new facet about myself. Realizing that I need to change to go with the flow of my life, as he is so capable of doing with his. Joy, who I am starting this CC change with and who throws water balloons at me when I need them to remind me that I am being a monster to myself and to others. Who understands the process that I am going through.
I do have blessings, it is hard to see them during the times when the darkness fills my eyes and all I can see is the negativity of the situation. Starting in October the veil of self deception and illusion lifted from my eyes. I saw myself as the woman that I know that I don’t want to be and that I’m not. My real mother became a bitter, angry, self destructive woman, who hated everyone, trusted no one, and believed everyone is out to get them. I saw myself becoming that way. By all means, I know and I have seen the dark side of life, more than I want to speak or remember, but I do remember that there are wonderful people out there. My eyes have been open, it is difficult to be mindful, positive, and conquer the dark depths of the past that needs to just go away. Then I realize it is something I have to accept about myself. It is what it was, nothing can be changed. All I can change is where I am heading now.

Dieting

http://creative.myspace.com/Client/WeightWatchers/StopDieting/popupHistory.html

I Knew This Already!!!

I got this fun quiz in my mail box this morning, so I thought hey I'll take it. I started a visionary board, which I heard about on Oprah and also in a couple of books I've been reading, so I thought I do need some visual help. First, I needed to visualize what my goals actually are and not keep them bottled up in my mind and second I'm learning the power of positive thinking.
In October, I bought this cork board for my office, I have no idea what possessed me to buy one, the fact is, I did. It's been sitting here empty since October, nothing on it. I kept looking at it, wondering why I bought it? Well, I looked up at it and this thought came to me, that could be my visionary board. I have two things on it, so far. Anyway, I wanted to post this quiz, but it turned into something else... I am in a wacky mood this morning, since it is a day off for me.

You Are Fairly Normal

You scored 60% normal on this quiz Like most people you are normal in some ways... But you aren't a completely normal person. You're a little weird too! Why You Are Normal: You prefer ruffled potato chips You prefer a good meal to a good nap If given the choice, you would choose to have more money over more time If you had to, you rather live without music and still have laughter You rather be screwed over than screw someone else over Why You Aren't Normal: You prefer your family to your friends You know a little about many subjects You eat the cupcake first You would not eat meat from a cloned animal You prefer non fiction to fiction

What's Normal About You... And What's Not?

Adventures In Brush Prairie Washington

I am still assimilating my day. A thousand clarity moments happened for me, things that I have not dealt with in a long time. My minds been muted by the chaos that’s been around me. The last four years have been a slurry of events, emotional roller coaster rides, beginning with the diagnosis of my dads colon cancer in December. Then in February the same day my dad had his first chemo treatment, Rick suddenly passed away. Then catapulted from there to where I am now. The reason this all is coming back to me now, is my new position with Georgia. A woman who is passing away from ovarian cancer, and watching her mate of 5 years, struggling with that assessment. The realization that she is not going to be around much longer. She is already not eating, which is the first step of dying. I know this all too well. Dying started for me at age 13, with my real mother, and I have been dealing with it ever since. Like my sister Vickie, who helped one of her neighbors pass on in this world from colon cancer, I too draw people who are dying to my door step. This bugs me, because well, I don’t like watching all the angst that is associated with death. The mourning, the anger, the frustration of the people who are being left behind. Though, from my experience, you can move on and hold in your soul the memory of the essence of that person. The lessons, the love, the serenity, the sweet moments that you shared in your life with that person. Even the shitty parts that at the moment don’t feel great, in the end, really do matter. They shape the soul you become. No one is a mountain, standing alone, we are all beings of one essence. The source of life that also produces death. I felt Georgia’s loss of dignity of herself today. When she expressed to me, I am so embarrassed, because she needed help with a bath. I said, everyone needs help eventually and you are not less of a person because of this. That moment, put me into the reality of the rhythm of life. How kindness and compassion is essential in life. Expressing those things is difficult and you have to use wisdom and intuition from the source of God to show you what the steps are to take in matters. This day, set a synchronicity of moments that guided me. I opened my heart and soul to receiving those messages. Opening my minds eye and my souls eye to the signs that were around me.
Georgia lives on a piece of land, with 5 cows. Here are some pictures of it, I felt calm, at peace looking around me. It’s beauty overwhelmed me with desire of land of my own someday. I am taking the suggestions of today and creating that woman that I know that I am. I am setting off on the greatest journey that I will ever be on. The journey is me. And it starts with a single step and I already started it thirty three years ago, when I was blessed enough to be born.



They had a lot of birdhouses everywhere.



The shapes of these trees new the water spot fascinated me. I liked their shape.



Picture of the land.



The cows watering spot, I didn't see any cows though.



The gate to the pasture, where the cows hang out.

Dedicated

I found this poem written by Maya Angelou in her book "Celebrations". I read this poem twice and it made me think of my dad who passed away on September 24th, 2006 and Rick a friend and companion of mine for 10 years of my life on February 18th, 2004.

When Great Trees Fall:

When great trees fall, rocks on distant hills shudder, lions hunker down in tall grasses, and even elephants lumber after safety.

When great trees fall in forests, small things recoil into silence, their senses eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die, the air around us becomes light, rare, sterile. We breathe briefly. Our eyes, briefly, see with hurtful clarity. Our memory, suddenly sharpened, examines, gnaws on kind words unsaid, promised walks never taken.

Great souls die and our reality, bound to them, takes leave of us. Our souls, dependent upon their nurture, now shrink, wizened. Our minds, formed and informed by their radiance, fall away. We are not so much maddened as reduced to the unutterable ignorance of dark, cold caves.

And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregulary. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.

Get Real Heart

My friend Mandy on Myspace put this out on a bulletin board, I decided to take it. I never put any stock into these things, but they are fun to take. It surprised me this time, with how accurate it was...

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Beware Of Phishing

I got an email, supposedly from my bank, it scared me, because if I don't verify information, it could derail my account for awhile. So, instead of clicking on the links, I called the bank. The reason I called the bank, the software I have tells me if they think this is a phishing scam or not, and it said it could possibly be. Anyway, I was directed to forward this and no they didn't need to verify my information, I'm relieved. Here are some tips they gave me in an email response, I thought I would share. Beware of these types of phishing scams...

The main goal of a phishing email is to get you to a site where you will provide your personal information. With these basic, but powerful, clues, you can easily recognize the threat and ensure the safety of your identity and finances. 1. Does the email ask you to go to a website and verify personal information? We won't ask you to verify your personal information in response to an email.2. What is the tone of the mail? Most phish emails convey a sense of urgency by threatening discontinued service or information loss if you don't take immediate action.3. What is the quality of the email? Many phish emails have misspellings, bad grammar, or poor punctuation.4. Are the links in the email valid? Deceptive links in phishing emails look like they are to a valid site, but deliver you to a fraudulent one. Many times you can see if the link is legitimate by just moving your mouse over the link.5. Is the email personalized with your name and applicable account information? Many phish emails use generic salutations and generic information (e.g. "Dear Customer" or "Dear Account Holder") instead of your name.6. What is the sender's email address? Many phish emails come from an email address not from the company represented in the email. 7. When in doubt, type it out. If you suspect an email to be phishing, don't click on any links in the email. Type the valid address directly into your web browser. For more information, and to enhance your anti-phishing arsenal with our free Bank of America Toolbar, please visit our Privacy & Security website at www.bankofamerica.com/privacy.

Forty

I woke with a question on my mind, “Jamie, what do you want to accomplish by the time you are forty?” I have no idea where this question came from, maybe my soul’s trying to get me to commit to a plan. Whether, I want to admit it or not, I’ve been mindlessly going from one chaotic episode to another. It’s time to think and make a plan.
I want to be financially fit.
I want to be 160 pounds.
I want to have a home that is peaceful and serene.
I want to meet someone that possess the qualities that I want in that special someone. Someone who is not a game player, who can love unconditionally, and who I can do the same.
I want to have a career that I love.
I believe, 2008 is my year. Since September, when I got my job, things have slowly improved. I am truly grateful for the ups and downs that I experienced, because they happened for a reason.
I am having a hard time in the weight issue, staying on track, doing the exercises that I know I must do, and well, eating properly. I’ve noticed some triggers, recently, who instigate the eating binges. Being mindful during those moments becomes difficult, and I have cracked a few times. I have not gained, but I am not losing much either.
Being lazy in life and not trying seems so much easier, but is it really. Either way, when you let things go, you seem to have to do a lot more to get it all balanced out again. Maybe it is the winter months, maybe it is the 4 year anniversary since Ricks passing, maybe I’m finally coming out of my cocoon and emerging out into the light. I’m weak, but I am strong at the same time. What a contradiction! I am building up the blocks to reform a foundation that’s been broken into stubble for a long time. Seriously, I have been thinking that I have lived on other peoples foundations, and they are not my own. I’m doing Creative Change with Joy, my sister, it’s a plan we’ve cooked up ourselves. We started in January, we both realized change needs to happen or we could lose our sanity. The definition of being insane is trying something over and over and expecting different results. I don’t want to be that way, not anymore. So, stopping that insane route and charting a new map, my atlas, spirit, intuition, nature, love, peace, and hope. I have found a couple of valuable tools, one I spoke about previously. Caroline Myss’ book “Entering The Castle”,, which I recommend to anyone who is committed to the healing of their own spirit and becoming more real with themselves.
What truly inspired me to start this new beginning, “The Art Of Power” by Thich Naht Hanh, I started reading it in December. Before that, Joy and I were talking about 2008 and charting a new destiny for ourselves. I am noticing synchronicity all around me. Joy, going down this path with me, who is a close sister friend, whom I can talk to about anything, my job, and seeing my strength and capabilities.
Since September, when I made a big step, in getting a job, things have slowly, progressively gotten better. I have made some slip ups with my finances, but they didn’t destroy me. The last 3 years have been a series of turbulent ups and downs, triumphant joys and catastrophic lows, all things to help me appreciate what I have. I’ve gained new perspective on where I want my life to go and I learned who I can trust during this process and who I can’t. All elements in guiding me to my authentic self. I am learning to love who I am and trusting my own instincts. All blessings.

Sunday Serenity #21

This book is a sojourn into your own soul, which Caroline Myss calls your castle. I'm not far into "Enter The Castle", I am still noticing subtle changes in my thoughts. Probing deeply into your soul is the goal, appreciating the connection you do have with God, being mindful of your actions that do have an affect on others. Connected we all are, whether we want to believe it or not. Knowing this, reading "Enter The Castle", and gaining new perspective is a sense of serenity for me.

Reptiles

Finally! I am feeling a bit more energetic. I decided that a change needed to be executed in my life, back in September/October. I talked to my sister/friend Joy and we devised a plan to keep each other in check and to encourage each other. She got gun hoed and started on her environment, I’ve been stagnating in mine. I have these great plans and desires that I want to fulfill before I die and I haven’t done much of them. I feel like I have let myself down in a lot of ways. Commitment is a big thing to me, why is it so much easier for me to commit to someone else and keep it, but when it comes to me I can’t? This plaques me, and something I want to change. I have heard it takes a good month to two months to change old habits, but it is difficult to get to that point.
Especially, when out of the blue the obstacle that you’re healing from is back. Standing like Count Dracula ready to suck the life from your body. I’ve been reading “The Historian” written by Elizabeth Kostova. LOL I know this obstacle doesn’t want to suck the life from me, and does have he’s own responsibilities. I accomplished a lot during the almost 3 months since we departed as friends and I don’t want to go back to where I was in that relationship. I see the truth of what our relationship is or was, he does not care about me, as I do him. Though that realization hurts more than I want it to, it is still the truth starring me directly in the face. I have to face this deadly truth, if I don’t my life energy will be drawn from me with the perversions that flood my mind.
I’ve been reading some great books, so I haven’t been completely idle in my pursuits, or letting my mind poison my souls journey. I just haven’t been doing any of the physical stuff, except for my job. I’ve been feeling apathy lately. I believe it is my soul telling me that I need to contemplate, and move on from situations that I have no control over. Who really has control over ever aspect of their live? The people always do something unexpected, whether it is good or bad or if it disrupts your schedule, it happens, am I too get mad at them for being themselves or am I suppose to look at these rocks on my road as blessings in humility. In Myss’ book “Entering The Castle” the first room in the first mansion deals with Humility. She asks you to figure out what humiliated you in your past, not your mind, but your soul. I found some dark demons or reptiles, (as Myss calls them) starring me in the face. I started the first room last night. It brought up some repressed feelings about my mother, Rick, The Coons, Vickie, Ricky, and Monte that I stored away in that room, apparently. It knocked me off the balance kilter that I built for myself, and I had to sit the book down to regain my emotions. I almost cried when I read it, meditated on it, and now I am facing those feelings, long ago hidden in the room. I stuff my feelings, I always have and then suddenly something triggers an emotional outburst that drives me to insane measures that I beat my family and friends with. This overwhelming need for security. I felt that last night. I sat the book down, took a hot bath, and I wrote and let the memories that needed to come out, come out. I am surmising that Myss’ book and the small chapters is not a quick read, but one that you read and contemplate on for awhile before you move on to the next room. It is a book worth working through and owning. Though, something surprising happened today to my spirit. I got off my duff and started some needed work to my own environment. I feel like a bit of light is shining through and giving me a clearer vision of what it is I truly need to work on. I am worthy of the decision that I made in October, nine months without developing a relationship with a man again and opening up the windows to my heart and soul. I knew then, that I needed to work on some interior things. Though the people around me probably will not see it or even acknowledge it, I am doing this for me… Which is a big step… I am facing the reptiles and I am going to deal with them one at a time…

Sunday Serenity #20

I have always found trees serene. When younger, a forest existed in Eastern Washington, Benton City where I lived. I use to go out in the grove and hang out for hours. Partly, to get away from my mom, but mostly, because I could listen to my inner voice. Each tree, shaped differently, had personality, and I loved to rub my hands on the bark and feel the rough texture of it’s skin. I love watching spring and fall come, because of the different colors. Anyway, I bought myself a cool book called :The Meaning Of Trees Written by Fred Hageneder, who inspired this post. I want to post about the different trees. Their vastness is far and long, so many different types. Here are 4 trees, I liked in the book. I didn’t write all the information about them.

Maple: (Aceraceae) There are 100 species of this tree. The symbol:
The Divine Association: Nanahboozhoo (Salteaux Indian)
Astrological Association: Jupitor
Superstition: The Roman grammarian Servius noted in C. 400ce that, as the Trojan horse had been made from maple wood, the maple was a tree that brought bad luck.
Historical spotlight: The Sycamore tree was first recorded in England in 1578, possibly brought from Europe by the Crusaders. It’s English name is a misspelling of Sycomore fig, a tree native to Egypt and Palestine.

Alder:
There are 35 species.
Symbolism: Release
Divine Association: Bran (Welsh) Phoronneus (Greek)
Astrological Association: Neptune.

Monkey Puzzle (Araucaria) :

There are 15 species.
Symbolism: Care
Divine Association: Pehuencha and Pehuenkuze (native Chilean)
Astrological Associations: Saturn and Mars
Historical Spotlight: Early European observers apparently wondered how a monkey could climb the sharp spikes of the trunk and branches. However, there are no monkeys in the forests of Chile.

Birch (Betula):
There are 60 species.
Symbolism: Renewal and Protection
Divine Association: The white Goddess, Brigid (Celtic ), Freya and Frigga (Norse), Venus (Roman)
Astrological Association: Venus
Historical Spotlight: In 1893, the British intelligence officer Captain H. Bower brought back from Turkestan one of the worlds oldest birch bark manuscripts , dating from 350ce.

Oh Happy Day

I am excited about my new position. I now need to get some needed things to make my new position workable for my in home office. I am now an office manager for Mercy Caregivers. I’ve been working here since September 5th and I love my job. I am thankful for this job and all the new, exciting things that have been happening in my life because of it. I feel good about it. The things I need now to make this transition easier is an all in one printer, scanner, fax machine, a desk, and a better cordless phone.
I have moved on in my book reading the: Entering The Castle by Caroline Myss. I am enjoying this one too. I am gaining new perspective on my sojourn journey to my soul and life. That is what I’ve been wanting this year to be for me. A mindful journey to the path of what my destiny is, so I can finally find the peace that I’ve been craving.
I am hoping that within the next few months, I get my home office built, some bills paid off, and pictures. I have some new opportunities to better my relationships with people. I am going to be teaching my nephew Rick and his wife Jessica computer. They don’t own one, and don’t have a clue in how to operate around the internet. I offered and am willing to teach them what I know. I don’t know everything and I am still a student, but I know I can teach them enough for them to get around and be comfortable in using this valuable tool. I am also doing a Creative Change project with my sister Joy. I am enjoying it and listening to her and the new opportunities she is experiencing and embracing helps me gain new perspective too. Monte is now back in my life and we have made up in a sense. I feel better about that. We have been friends for a long time and it seemed silly to have this dispute over nothing destroy our friendship. I am glad and thankful he and I have this new opportunity to build and heal our relationship. I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for a lot of things.

Mirror Fun

I had fun experimenting in the mirror with my camera. I never realized how much I enjoy taking pictures, until I didn't have a camera anymore. When the weather starts getting better, I want to go out and take more photographs of the things I find interesting. I want to get my family together and take pictures of how I see them and in their own environment. That is my plan for this year, to use my creativity in that way.

Sunday Serenity #19

I can imagine myself at the beach already, enough said...

Friends

Yesterday, I got to spend some time with my friend and her family. Here is a picture show of some of the pictures.


Amber and Jackie



Jackie, Amber, and I



Amber and Duncan



Tub a war with licorice.lol



Amber and her sweet boys.



The family. Cullen didn't want his picture taken anymore.lol



Amber, Duncan, and Cullen...




Amber and I



Amber, Russ, and I

My New Do

I decided to get my hair done yesterday. A couple of years ago, after Rick passed away, I cut my hair really short and dyed it this awful red color. So, I've been growing my hair out for a couple of years. It reached the bottom of my back. Yesterday, I drove to Longview and my best friend Amber little sister Jackie cut and dyed my hair. We went to Sally's and I picked out the two dye colors, one for highlights and the other for the main. I choose dark brown, since that is my natural color and deep auburn for the highlights. The highlights turned almost a pink color, but I don't mind. I've never had foil in my hair, so that was an interesting experience. This was a step into the new path that I am going, since January first. Amber bought herself a new straightner, iron thing, so I got her hand me down, that will be good, so I can experiment with it. Then when I feel more comfortable, then I can get me a new one.

This is Jackie and I in Amber's mirror, me with foil.


After Jackie finished. I love it...




All three of us, Jackie, Amber, and I...

Tornado's Bring Blessings

Driving on I 5, thunder bolting from the sky. At first, I thought it was a shot gun going off. Then the rain, mixed with hail starting coming down from the sky. I barely made it home before the wind came blowing through. It was scary. I stood out on my porch to see what the heck was going on, I felt the hail pelting me, and I couldn’t see anything. The wind was strong. I thought, a TORNADO. Then, I went into the bathroom until I heard it was gone. The bathroom felt safe to me. Don’t ask me why, it just felt that way at the time. I have never been through a tornado before, they are rare in my region. Shingles, trees, and all sorts of things are flung around in my apartment building. My cable is out, the phone service is out too, I’m grateful I still have my electricity. That makes it better.

I wrote this during the moments after the tornado hit my home in Vancouver Washington on Thursday afternoon. I decided to spend the whole day relaxing. I read “Entering The Castle” by Caroline Myss, listened to music, watched Bridget Jones Diary, took a hot bath, and was completely contented without phone, internet, or TV. Yesterday, I when the phone came back on I discovered to my delight that several people called to see how I was doing. That opened u a vista to me, making realize that I do have a close nit of family and friends that are around me. It has opened up my eyes to my many blessings and I see things at a different perspective.

Sunday Serenity #18

Shopping, I know, I know, doesn't sound peaceful. This trip was different. I went with a friend, she got permission to change the wallpaper border in her bathroom from the manager. So, we went to Lowe's and it was fun to look at the paint chips. I picked out two colors that I want to change my bedroom into. I kept them for rememberance of what I want.
We also went to Target. I like Target so much better than Walmart. There I saw my dream desk that I want. Right now, my computer is on a card table in my office. I don't like it at all. I don't know, usually, I hate shopping, today, was different. I saw some amazing things on there and I it also helped that I just read about walking meditation in "The Art Of Power" book. Friends, shopping, beautiful things brings me peace. I send everyone peace and blessings.

Boats And Clouds

I went for a walk with Amber last weekend. I just now got them downloaded onto my computer.
There was actually a boat tied to the dock on the quay. It was a pretty day.



The clouds over the water, so pretty.



A boat tied to the dock.

Thoughts

I’m feeling better, the first two days of the New Year, I felt like a pile of you know what. It wasn’t because I was sick, it was the daunting task of this new project I am doing with my sister/friend Joy. We both need change and we decided to co-create our lives together. Sharing our secrets only with each other by another blog. It is a cool idea, I love it. I have my intentions, what I want my life to be like this year. I felt like I was building yet, another box for myself. I didn’t like that feeling. Once, I talked to Joy about it and we both decided that this is a revolving change, (circumstances, environment, or it just isn’t working) could change everything. I didn’t want to be stuck in this mode I made a commitment to myself and to Joy. I am big on commitment, I wanted that freedom to change my intentions in mid stream. Which, I did. I got some cool new books that I wanted to incorporate into my creative change and I also wanted to add a couple of things to my list. One of the big things I wanted to add was Monte. He is slowly coming back into my life and he is a dear, sweet friend, but I don’t want to go back to the way things have been, so I had to add that memorandum and I added more passion. I think the universe is listening to me and an interesting thing happened. An old friend I knew in high school, Carol contacted me via My Space and we have been writing each other messages for the last couple of weeks. She asked me an interesting question about my childhood and how I felt about my real mom. I felt nervous about answering it, not because I didn’t want to share, the fact is, I feel inadequate a lot of the time. It took me all but 30 minutes to think and to construct my response to her. I think it was the universe letting me know that I have made peace with my past, which, opened a lot of doorways. I’ve come from many backgrounds, maybe that is why I can see things from different perspectives. My early childhood, full of drama, pain, abuse from all the major things, molded me into this fire breathing woman, who doesn’t like clowns, even. The type of clowns that use violent behavior as a funny joke. Why laugh at other people’s misfortune, being hit in the face or set on fire, my opinion and I don’t judge or condemn someone else for liking that kind of thing. It isn’t my cup of tea. Then I lived with Vickie and her family for a time. She is my true blood sister and I love her a lot. She has survived, like I have. Her household was better, but not that much. I have nightmares of that home, but I felt extra protective of my nephew Rick, he is 3 years younger than I am and I am so proud of him. The accomplishments that he has made despite the malarkey he went through. Then I lived with the Coons from 14 until 19, then I moved out on my own. I’m grateful for all these experiences. I wouldn’t have gained the knowledge that I have now without them. It doesn’t mean that each home had a different type of adjustment period, or what I coin negativity, but each one was a step up from the other. I know at least with Vickie and the Coons they all love me and did their best. I met some awesome people during my time in Longview. Amber H., Amber S, Carol, and some that their names have escaped me. I made friends and I gained some sense of independence, but not fully. I think, that each home that I was in, the only thread that was common, was absolute control. My mom used violence, name calling, etc. Vickie used drama, neediness, and desperation and the Coons used guilt, manipulation, and religion to gain it. I’m not saying they are bad people. We are all human and we do things without realizing it. I have even done these things without knowing it. We are after all human. I have much love, respect, and understanding towards them. I have seen the progress that many of them have made and I am proud to call them my friends, as well, as my family. It is giving me a lot to contemplate and appreciate.

Friends

Amber was trying to put together a new shelf unit for her bathroom Her too precious cats, Cleo and Ramseys were so curious about it, they sat there and watched her intensely the whole time.



This is Amber Dawns fiance Russ. He is a nice guy. He is a good friend to me too. They are both great.




My walking partner, Amber May. Yes, I have two friends named Amber. I'm glad they have different middle names.LOL