Choices That Are Hard To Make

I got some good advice from a friend this morning, I do not follow through with the plans that I want to make. Actually, my first step would be to actually sit down and make a list of goals and the actions I need to take to accomplish them. I have not done that yet. I do not need a life coach for that purpose. I have been good at inspiring others, so why can’t I inspire myself. I have so much and it is so overwhelming. I guess I should write down ten things to accomplish for the next 4 months and then work from there. Maybe if I break it down into smaller steps, I will be able to actually do something. I am so focused on losing Monte friendship, that I have lost focus of me and what I need to accomplish. I am sitting here waiting for him to notice me, what kind of life is that. Waiting by the phone, waiting for him to notice me, miss me, want me, and love me. I cannot live like that, I do not want to live like that. He does not want me to be that way either. I am driving him and myself crazy with this. I know he likes me, he does not want to lose our friendship. I believe him when he says it, I’ve looked in his eyes. I think tonight, I am going to sit down, write out ten things I want to accomplish by September and then go on from there. Then I want to start making lists of things I want to do every day, to keep myself busy and my mind off of everything. I know that I am driving myself crazy sitting here in this apartment and not living my life. I need to take the bull by the balls and rip them off and start living.