A Reading

Celtic Cross Spread WorldTree Tarot Position 5 Position 3 Position 1 Position 4 Position 6 Position 10 Position 9 Position 8 Position 7 Free Tarot Readings from Mysticgames.com

Photos From A Mad Woman

HI, My Name Is Jamie

1. Hi, my name is... Jamie

2. Never in my life have I... swam with dolphins.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is... My family

4. High school…has good and bad memories for me.

5. When I'm nervous...I bite my nails.

6. The last time I cried was...a few days ago.

7. If I were to get married right now my wedding would be...none existent.

8. My hair is...brown and long.

9. When I was 7...I lived in Wyoming.

10. Last Christmas...was boring.

11. I should be...taking the trash out.

12. When I look down I see...my burgundy blanket.

13. The craziest recent event was...a car backed into my apartment.

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be…Phoebe.

15. By this time, next year...I will be skinnier and happier.

16. My current gripe is...my weight, school, and other things.

17. I have a hard time understanding...humans.

18. There's this girl I know who...is a fabulous mother of two boys.

19. You know I like you when...I listen to your problems and try to help you.

20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...My mom.

21. Take my advice...never lose sight of your dreams.

22. My most wanted item is...a decent car, a new clothes.

23. If you visited the place I was born...you would see that I didn’t turn out so terrible, considering the numb skulls that live there.

24. I plan to visit...Longview.

25. If you spend the night at my house....you would have to sleep on the couch.

26. I'd stop my wedding if...I found out my fiancé cheated on me.

27. The world could do without...crocodiles.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than...that is too gross to answer, sorry.

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself...Yoplait yogurt.

30. Most recent thing someone else bought me...a 20 dollar gift card at Fred Meyers.

31. My favorite blonde is…my big sister, Victoria.

32. My favorite brunette is...Amber Dawn McDaniel Hill Connely.

33. My favorite redhead is...Tori Amos

34. My middle name is...Jean

35. This morning I...replanted all my house plants.

36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are... Humans.

37. Once, at a bar...I tied a cherry stem with my tongue into a knot and got money for it.

38. Last night I was...sleeping.

39. There's this guy I know who...is hilarious, fickle, witty, and charming, but can also be a complete ass, but I like him anyways.

40. I don't know...a lot of things.

41. A better name for me would be...I can’t imagine me with a different name.

42. Tomorrow I am...redecorating and cleaning house…

43. My birthday is...May 21st

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is...peace, hope, and love for everyone.

A Survey To Pass The Time

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Nope

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
I don’t know, I never paid attention.

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
A long, long time ago, when I went with Amber S. and we had so much fun. I think I was 16 or 17.


4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends on my mood.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I have been known to be.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Probably, but it doesn’t matter now.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Angelina is a beautiful woman, and is caring. Jennifer is a good woman too. I like them both.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I know some things, but no one, not even the politician know anything about politics.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Nope

12. What’s your favorite commercial?
The one where this mother is talking to her baby about a French fry and the baby smacks the mother in the head. I think it is a V8 commercial, it cracks me up every time.



13. Who was your first love?
Rick

14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No, I never have done that.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes, who doesn’t.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Baseball is baseball.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Nope, but I want to someday.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
I only remember the ones that I am meant to remember. I believe dreams can give you great wisdom.

19. What’s the one thing on your mind?
A lot of things, actually. How to best cultivate my relationships, keeping the old ones , rekindling some of them, and making new ones. Also career, schooling, etc. And my house plants, weight, gardening, and a whole slew of things.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yep

21. What talent do you wish you had?
To draw, paint, and fly and read minds.

22. Do you like Sushi?
Yes, some of it is good.

23. What do you wear to bed?
My pajamas.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
No, hate is a hard word. I do dislike some people, but I don’t wish them harm in any way, they should do what they feel they need to do to be the best they can be. I just don’t have to like their actions or choices. Each person is different and they have the right to be who and how they are.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Lets see, George Clooney, John Stamos..

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Not now, but in my past I have.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
hominy

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Truthfully, yes, I have. I choke about them and their actions, I don’t say anything mean or horrible about them. I also do it in front of them too.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes, it is not a good thing. I don’t recommend it to anyone.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Yes, I do. I have seen my fair share and some of them are my friends and family members.

Autism

My good friend Amber has a little boy with Autism. It affects a lot of people, I am told. She deals with it and she found and shared this article with me. Her little boy is adorable, smart, and loveable and I hope that a cure is indeed going to happen, it would be an awesome blessing for her and the rest of her family. She has two great kids and it is a mighty job being the fabulous mom that she is. Here are her two kids and click on the title of the blog to read the article about a cure.

Finding My Way Back Home

I found this song on my myspace page, I feel that this is a devine inspiration made for me, nah, that is just my arrogance coming out. I have found inspiration in this song though. It is how I am feeling at this present moment. Taking my time, going donw the road that I must, with patience and vigilance. I now have the song and I can use it as inspiration when I have those dark moments in my life.


Finding My Way Back Home: By Lee Ann Womack.

I’ve been hurrying and I’ve been worrying
I’ve been running against the wind
I’ve been betting my soul on long shot road
That a good man never wins.
I’ve been tossing and I’ve been turning
I’ve been burning it at both ends
I’ve been seeing myself in the rearview mirror
And I don’t like where I’ve been.
So I’m taking my time
Holding and hoping and driving and dreaming and loving every minute of it just enjoying the road.
Slowly and soulfully feeling the wheels unwind, finding my way back home.
I’ve been tooling along the two lane.
I got off the interstate.
I’ve been going too fast.
I got off at the gas.
I’ve been learning the charm of the brake.
I’ve been rolling down all the windows.
And letting the world rush in.
The smell of the grass and the fields that I pass and the sun dance on my skin.

50 Things

50 Things About Me


50 random things about you

1. Where is your mom right now?
At home in Longview, probably sleeping... I hope feeling better...

2. last time you talked to your crush?
I don't have a crush...


3. Name five things you did today.

1. slept in
2. talked on the phone with my big sister
3. made plans with my sister in law Kris to go shopping.
4. Read Inner Gardening and got inspired for my patio garden.
5. Planted my Dahlia bulbs in pots and feed the birds and sqirrels.

4. what color is your watch?
I don't have one, I can't ever have one, I'm bummed. I kill them.

5. what kind of phone do you have?
I dont' know

7. Where does your best friend work?
she is a terrific mom to two fabulous boys.

8. What are you listening to right now?
myself typing


9. What do you smell like?
What kind of question is that?

10. what color are your eyes?
blue

11. Have you ever done a chinese fire drill?
no

12. What color are your bedroom walls?
whtie

13. Do you have a chair in your room?
no

15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
no, I don't think so. I think Amber and Russ should be, Russ go buy Amber a big old diamond. LOL

16. What's your favorite number(s)?
don't have one

17. Do you know someone named Betsy?
no

18. What color is your mom's hair?
gray now, but it used to be brown.

19. What shape is the engagement ring you want to give/receive?
I don't know


20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
yes

21. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
nope


23. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
yep

24. Do you play an instrument?
nope

25. Do you like fire?
when it can cook me food, light candles, keep me warm, and then the aftermath can give me ashes so I can use them in the garden,.

26. Are you allergic to anything?
I'm not sure

27. When was the last time you cried?
a few days ago.


29. Have you ever been to a spa?
no, but I want to. It would be fun to do that with my girlfriends.

30. Did you take science all four years of high school?
no


31. Do you like butterflies?
Yes, I do. they are so beautiful.

32. Do you miss someone right now?
a couple of people.

33.Do you think they miss u too?
probably not

34. Have you ever seen your school counselor?
I think I did, it has been so long since I've been in school.

35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
no

38. Is anyone jealous of you?
no


9. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
Nope.

40. What does your mom call you?
Joy,Carri,Rob, Jamie.... Honey, sweetheart.

41. What do your friends call you?
Jam, Jammers, Hobble McWalker,


42.What does you hair look like right now?
messy, I just woke up.

43. Has a friend ever used you?
yes, unfortunately

44. Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?
yes

45. What have you eaten today?
nothing so far, I just woke up.

46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight
straight


48. Who was the last person you drove with?
My sister Carri, Joanie, Julie, Nichole, Jeremy, and Levi.

49. What are you looking forward to?
March 12th, so I can finally have a few things behind me, the daffodils, tulips, and crocus that I planted. Getting more plants for my patio garden, and maybe some more house plants and getting a kitty, or a fish or maybe both. Oh and going back to school and finally reachiing my goal of 150 pounds next year... LOL



50.How are you today?
Right now, It is great.

Thrills

This one is more correct, I do need an adventure, I need one now...

You Are Adventurous... Sometimes

You like an adrenaline rush as much as the next person. You like your thrills in small doses. You're generally pretty calm and level headed. But sometimes you have to go wild and have a crazy adventure.

Are You a Thrill Seeker?

Blue Brain

I thought I'd do something fun...
This is my ideal self.

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Abomination, No More!

“We must cultivate our own gardens” Voltaire Candid (1759)


This quote jumped out at me, like a deer starring at you, while standing in the middle of the road, the stubborn beast won’t budge and let you move on down the road. I have been in a whirlwind of doubts, self destructive abuse, negative actions and thoughts recently, because hey, you learn what you are taught, right? The people who really know me know my past and what my road looked like from before and what I am going through now to change my destination and how I perceive myself and others around me. I put error signs up in my mind all the time, but sometimes I let myself down with the negative shit that seems to pop up out of nowhere. Especially, yesterday, while talking to one of my big sisters, she listened to me whining and I got told you just ruined my happy day. Well, truthfully the sun was out and it was a glorious day, I was sitting at home gloomy because of a certain event that happened to me 3 years ago today and all the negative shit that I still have to put up with his family. Who got the things they wanted out of our house and now they want more, so I have to stand up and fight for myself and what I deserve. Hey, I spent 11 years taking care of him, doing the best that I can do with a man who is so stubborn and who thought he knew everything and bending to his will, so he won’t be unhappy… That was hard work, it nearly killed me, and I am still reaping the benefits from that lousy choice that I made when I was 20 years old. Let me tell the 20 year olds out there, you don’t know everything and the decisions and the choices you make will inevitably bite you in the ass. Believe me, I’ve been bitten a few times. I don’t’ want to be the negative, vindictive, self abuser, that I am inevitably becoming, so I need to reroute the wheel, so to speak. If I am miserable, then the people who I know love and care about me are miserable watching me becoming miserable. I’m going to end up, like Rick, no family, or friends who truly want to be around you, because you are too cement headed to realize the good things and be the good person you know you are. So this is my last bitchy, whiny, and angry blog about my life. I’m tired of it.
I’m hoping that March 12th will be a good thing for me and for the obstacle that is in my way, that we both will benefit and be happy with what happens. I’m hoping to get some of the things that needs to get done in my life done. I hope to be the happy, go lucky woman that I know I am. I hope to stay focus on the path that I am meant to be following. I want the people who are my family and friends to be happy and loved too. And I even wish that on my enemies.
My fears on this new journey is, I don’t want to be a selfish person, not being able to help my fellow man when in need, either. See balance is the key to everything, I believe this with my whole heart. The key, I guess, is in finding that balance for me. Every individual has their own balance and I just have to find mine.

Photo Collage Crazy!!!

I'm having fun putting my photos in this slide shows that I have found.

Photo Collage 2

Time To Change Is Approaching

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, because a major anniversary of an event that happened 3 years ago is coming up again. I hate this time of year, no it is not Valentine’s day, it is a death of someone that was once important and dear to me. The only difference this year is that I’m tired of the remembrance, dwelling, and opening myself up to the negative feelings, emotions, and deeds of this person in my life. The negative things that he did to his family and his friends made him a lonely, self destructive person, and I find myself becoming that way. I can see this, I want to change this, I have been accused from a long time friend that I don’t follow through on my plans. I let things stand in my way, like, self doubt, negative feelings, confusion, and a certain somebody, who in reality doesn’t want to be in my way at all. In fact, the people who are in my life want me to become the Jamie that I know and they know I can be. As the time is approaching, a lot of things are becoming more in perspective, my dream, my passion, my hope, my fears, my challenges, my faults, and mostly my problems that I need to focus on, instead of helping and focusing on others. I am not accusing or blaming anyone, it is my decision and my choice that I have made. It is just time to take the bull by the balls, so to speak and accomplish what is I am suppose to and do what I want to do, despite the anger that I am instilling in my older, and much loved big sister. My family and friends I believe and hope will support me no matter what I do. I don’t have many friends or family that I can count on, but I do have a few.

Another Photo Collage

Photo Collage

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Slideshow

Cool Slideshows

Somebody To Be

Rob Thomas’ CD “Somebody To Be” is awesome. I love all the songs on it. I felt nurtured while listening to it tonight. My sister Vickie sent it to me, because it is rare to find a CD that you love all the songs from, at least for it is.
This song is one of my favorites and it is called “This Is How A Heart Breaks.”

Don't you wanna go for a ride
Just keep your hands inside
And make the most out of life
Now don't you take it for granted

Life is like a mean machine
It made a mess outta me
It left me caught between
Like an angry dream I was stranded

And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake
And I don't know how much more I can take

This is it now
Everybody get down
This is all I can take
This is how a heart breaks
You take a hit now you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
This is how a heart breaks

Don't you wanna go for a ride
Down to the other side
Feels so good you could cry
Now won't you do what I told you
I remember when you used to be shy
Yeah, once we were so fine
You and I why you gotta make it so hard on me

And I'm sorry but it's not a mistake
And I'm running but you're getting away

You're not the best thing that I knew
Never was never cared too much
For all this hanging around
It's just the same thing all the time
Never get what I want
Never get too close to the end of the line
You're just the same thing that I knew back before the time
When I was only for you

5 Things I'm Grateful For

1. Candles
2. Sisters who help you fill out an application with the hard questions.
3. Great blogs to read, especially the old mermaids blog
4. Tarot cards that help you gain insight
5. Friends and family.

1974

In 1974 (the year you were born)

Gerald Ford becomes president of the US Hank Aaron hits his 715th home run to beat Babe Ruth's record Impeachment hearings are opened against President Nixon by the House Judiciary Committee President Nixon resigns President Gerald Ford issues an unconditional pardon to ex-President Nixon for all federal crimes Muhammad Ali knocks out George Foreman in the eighth round to regain the heavyweight crown in Zaire Heiress Patty Hearst is kidnapped by and eventually joins the Symbionese Liberation Army Dungeons & Dragons officially released People magazine is published for the first time Kate Moss, Alyson Hannigan, Penelope Cruz, Alanis Morissette, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Ryan Seacrest are born Oakland Athletics win the World Series Miami Dolphins win Superbowl VIII Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup Blazing Saddles is the top grossing film All the President's Men by Bernstein and Woodward is published "Killing Me Softly With His Song" wins Grammy for song of the year

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Survey

1. So, what did you do all day?: Watched a movie, watched tv, ate, slept, cried, and went on the internet.

2. What is the most expensive thing you've bought recently? groceries

3. Last concert (or show) you attended:Pat Benetar

4. Coolest thing you've gotten in the mail lately: An encouragement card from my big sister.

5. Describe your favorite article of clothing: my red pajamas.

6. Last video game played: I haven't been playing any.

7. How many CDs do you have by any ONE artist or group?: Tori Amos is the one I have the most of.

8. What's for dinner?: leftovers.

9. Do you have any collections?: nope

10. What was the last board game you played?: Monopoly

11. Who won?: My brother Rob and I was second.

12. Do you subscribe to any magazines? better homes and gardens.

13. Last movie you saw at a theater: Superman returns or was it pirate of the carribean.

14. Last movie you watched at home: the matrix.

15. Do you have any special traditions only you or your family does? nope

16. What was the last thing you created: tears

17. Are you reading any books right now?: Nope

18. Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?: Yes, the Velveteen Rabbit by Margaret Mitchell.

19. What do you do when you can't fall asleep?: think too much.

20. Have you ever randomly bumped into a actor/actress/or other generally famous person on the street?: nope.

21. Are you more likely to read a book you've never read before if it's been made into a movie?: nope

22. Have you discovered what podcasts are yet? nope

23.What is your favorite kind of food that you only get to have once a year: cheesecake

24. What's that noise?: the TV

25. Last dvd box set you bought?: the golden girls.

26. Are there any musical artists that you used to like but don't anymore because their style of music changed too much?: no

27. Are there any covers you think are better than the original? Yes

28. What food(s) do you go to the store for ASAP when you run out?: cheese

29. Isn't there another appropriate response for "I love you" besides "I love you, too."?: Only if you mean it.

30. Last new artist that you listened to and really liked: I can't think of one.

31. Last new one you hated: Anything by Fergie

32. In which country do you wish you'd been born? dumb question.

33. When was the last time you were scared shitless?: it's been awhile

34. Do you like it when old ladies refer to you as "Dear", or "Hon", or "Sugar"?: no

35. What is your favorite physical flaw: what a flaw is to one is beauty to another... yep

36. Share random fact about yourself: I have some deep seeded fears. I am feeling one now.

37. What's the best field trip you ever went on?: when I was in sixth grade we took a tour of old towne Portland Oregon, it was so cool.

38. Have you ever dressed up for Halloween at work?: no

39. Do you have any clothes that you pilfered or inherited from your parents?: no

40. How old is "old" to you?: no age comes to mind.

41. What was the last free thing you've gotten?: food.

42. What's your favorite black and white movie?: It's A Wonderful Life

43. What color would you like to bleed?: huh?

44. Do you know any Furries?: okay so maybe this is a stupid question but what exactly are "furries" ???

45. If you have a wall calender, what kind is it?: I don't have one.

46. Have you ever been to a convention?: yes

47. If you were to dress up as a musician, which one would you be?: none

48. Do you have a thing about ruining new stuff by personalizing?: I hate when people put their names in books...

49. Ever have those moments when you realize that you somehow just cheated death?: Yeah, when Amber and I were in Neveda on a two lane highway coming home 5 times someone who was trying to pass someone on the other side come really close to hitting us head on. That was freaky to both of us.

50. Does it boggle your mind?: no

Thursday 13 #4

Thirteen Herbs I Want To Grow For My Culinary Kitchen YOUR NAME 1…. Basil- Genovese Sweet to be exact. This is the real Italian basil. Basil is good in almost anything and the aroma is heavenly. 2. Oregano- Greek is the one I like the best. It adds so much flavor to a lot of things. Yummy! 3. Chives- Added to soups is a treat. 4. Chamomile- This plant has a lot of greatness in it. 5. Cilantro- And if you let this herb take to seed, it turns into coriander 6. Dill- This is good in eggs and fish. I love it in Tuna fish 7. Echinacea- Besides being pretty to look at it, it has some health value too. 8. Feverfew- This is good for people who suffer from migraine headaches. 9. Marjoram- It adds to the basil and oregano. 10. Rosemary- The smell of this herb and the flavor it adds to fish, chicken, and meat is scrumptious. 11. Mint- The smell of mint is awesome. 12. Sage- This earthy herb is great not just for stuffing, but in rice, pasta, and many other things. 13. Thyme- Is great in many different types of dishes and it is a stable in my cooking. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Week 5

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have SUCCEEDED! Emerson


I got this quote on a card from my sister Vickie in the mail. I have been feeling like a failure for awhile, I have royally screwed up in a lot of areas in my life. I have been depressed for a long, long time, instead of dealing with what I need to, I’ve been focusing my attention on the things that shouldn’t be important. That does have to stop, I’m not sure how to. I am feeling like I have a lot of catching up to do, to reach the numerous expectations that are put in place, just because of my age. Is that a correct way of thinking? Aren’t we all individuals, that have different criteria of what it takes to be an adult?
As you have read in my blog, I have been working on Life Makeovers by Cheryl Richardson. Week 5, is dealing with time. She asks you to answer these two questions:
1) What needs my attention at this time in my life?
2) What do I need to let go of?
Actually, to my surprise these were easy questions for me to answer. It is funny how the simplest questions can give you answers that you didn’t know were inside of you. I answered these two questions.
The answer to “What needs my attentions at this time in my life?” is gaining my freedom in my financial arena, and to find my purpose in my life. I haven’t done that yet. Ricks’ been dead for almost three years and I am still pondering this same exact question. I need to get my head out of my butt and start working on this.
The answer to “What do I need to let go of?” was equally easy to answer. I need to let go of my friends, Monte, Amber, and Christina. To my unrealistic expectations of myself, that I am a failure, that I am not capable, and my rebellion against my entire family, who all each have their own ideas of what my priorities should be. I have rebelled against it, because I need to sit down and take my own inventory of what is important to me. I don’t need to hide from these skeletons and these unrealistic expectations that are placed upon me by the circle that loves me. So, here it is, I decided to take myself by the bootstraps and do what I deem is necessary to achieve the goals that are important to me. The only two goalsthat I have for right now, is achieving my financial freedom from debt and to become fully healthy.

I'm Just A Girl

You are
[ ] short
[] 5′4″-5′5″
[ ] 5′5″-5′6″
[ x] 5′6″-5′7″
[ ] 5′8″-5′9″
[] 5′10″ and up

Your confessions:
[x] I'm afraid of silence
[x] I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark
[] I've collected comic books
[x ] I sometimes shut out others
[ ] I open up to others TOO easily
[x] I read the newspaper
[x] I love Disney movies
[x] I am a sucker for gorgeous eyes
[] I am a sucker for a gorgeous smile
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[ ] I bake well
[] I have worn pajamas to class
[ ] I love Martha Stewart
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[x] I love to laugh
[] I can't swallow pills
[ x] I bite my nails
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored
[x] I have gotten lost in the city
[x] I have gone out in public in my pajamas
[] I have made out in an elevator
[ ] I have been skydiving
[ ] I have been bungee jumping
[x] I have bitten someone
[ ] I have egged or T.P.ed a house/car
[ ] I have smashed a car
[ x] I have been fired

Have you ever…
[x] twice seen a shooting star
[ ] joke proposed to anyone
[x] gotten stitches
[x] eaten Sushi
[x] gotten the chicken pox
[x] ridden in a taxi
[x] Been on a cruise ship
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been on a plane by yourself
[x] had surgery
[x] seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater
[] been on stage
[ x] gotten a black eye
[] memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[x] watched an entire baseball game

Do you like…
[x] old movies
[x] musicals
[x] blasting music in your car
[x] foreign foods
[] gameboy Pokemon
[] Christmas time
[x] donuts
[x] animals
[x] coffee
[x] [Iced] tea
[x] summer
[] winter

TWO'S OF EVERY KIND

Two Names You Go By: Jam or Mcwalker

Two things you are wearing right now:
red pajama’s and hair clip

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation:
Italy and Hawaii

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now:
what is for dinner tonight and my friends.

Two favorite animals:
tigers and butterflies

Two Reasons you're doing this survey:
I’m bored and it is something to do that is constructive.

Spell your name without vowels:
JM, (wow that is short)

What color(s) do you wear most often?:
black

What's for dinner tonight?:
that is a good question.

Are you happy with your life right now?:
somewhat, this new year will be better. I’m going to be optimistic.

[Do you own a…}

- PS2: No.

- XBOX: No.

- PSP: No.

- Gamecube: No.

- Digital Camera: Yep!

What state or country do you want to go to?
I have always wanted to go to Maine and to Italy.

How do you make money?:
I just do.

Last thing you bought?:
groceries

How's the weather?:
cold

Do you own big sunglasses?:
yes

What should you be doing right now?:
cleaning house probably.

Who did you hug today?:
no one

How many beds did you lay in yesterday?:
Just mine.

What color shirt are you wearing?:
red

Name one thing that you do everyday?:
sleep

Whats the color are your bedroom walls?
white

How much cash do you have on you right now?
I’m not telling.

What's your favorite sport?:
I like playing baseball.

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?:
over a year ago, he passed away. I miss him.

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?: Beans, the way my momma use to make them.

Q: Look to your left, what do you see?
A white wall.

Q:Do you have plants in your room?:
yes, I have plants everywhere.

Q:Whats your favorite starbucks drink?
I like the peppermint coffee Amber had. It was good.

Q:Recent time you were really upset?:
the last couple of days, things seem to be changing unrepentantly in a few areas in my life, and I have to figure out my plan for my life.

My Life Grade

YOUR REPORT CARD:
Category	Grade
Love	C
Friends and Family	A
Body	A+
Mind	C
Finance / Career	B
Your Life's Average Grade: B
'What is your Life Grade?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Different Questions

Off-The-Wall Questions:

When was the last time you tripped and fell?
It would be safer to ask me when I don’t trip and fall.

Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
Ambers’, I believe.

What are you listening to right now?
The movie “First Wives Club”.

What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn?
I would rake the leaves.

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
I don’t remember.

Last time you swam in a pool?
I don’t remember, it has been awhile.

Have you ever been in a school play?
I don’t think I have.

How many kids do you want?
None

Type of music you dislike most?
I don’t enjoy the hip hop music that much.

You have cable?
No, I find that my antenna with the basic channels is all I need.

Ever prank call anybody?
no

What's your favorite comic strip?
Garfield

Bath or Shower?
I like baths.

Best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
I haven’t seen any movies in the past two weeks.

Peanuts or popcorn?
Popcorn.

Sprite or 7-Up?
Cherry 7 up

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school?
Yes

Ever thrown up in public?
Yes, unfortunately. Thank you Amber for walking me to the nurses office and not minding.

Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Well, since I am going to be cenacle about true love, I’d take the money.

Believe in love at first sight?
nope

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:

Something purple within 5 feet of you:
There are shades of purple in my painting.

Is your hair long enough to chew on:
Yes

Least favorite color?
Mustard Yellow. (I agree Mandy, Yuck)

Did you have a good weekend?
Nope

Did you ever photograph something that was dead?
Yes


Current disappointment:
Oh man, the unknown in a certain relationship, because it seems to be on quick sand, again.

Adventures In Dreamland

I am running. The smooth dirt beneath my feet, making it easy for me to run. Up ahead, a crowd of people, I know these people. I see Vickie, my mom, Carri, Joy, Monte, Amber, Rob, Kris, and Christina, but they seem to be multiplying. I push my way through the crowd, I hear their deafening voices all in union saying no, Jamie, go this way, no, do this, no you are wrong, atlas, I make it to the end of that crowd. I come across an opening to a deep dark forest. I run in without thinking, I have a second thought, this is a mistake or is it? When I look back towards the opening from which I came in, I see a baby deer looking at me. Her head cocked, her sweet brown eyes, beckoning me to follow her through this forest. She runs past me, I follow. The forest gets darker, as I am walking, I’m not running anymore. I can hardly see the deer, but she is there, I feel her presence. Every now and then she stops, to watch me catch up to her, to make sure I am following her. I am trusting her abilities. Strangely, I am at peace with this blinded adventure into the dark. Suddenly, I hit my head on a hard object. I reach up, I feel the roughness under my finger tips. The ravines in its skin, the hairy things that are coming out. I realize it is a tree, I walk around it, still on the path, I am still following the deer. Making my way along the path, I can see better with each step I take, up ahead, I see a bright light, the other end of the dark forest. I see the deer that was at the beginning there again. Now she is full grown, big, strong, and tall. She looks at me lovingly as she sees that I am there with her too. When I get to the opening, she runs off.

My Name Is Jamie

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 82 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Steps To Loving Yourself

I got this in an email from my friends Amber and Mandy on MySpace today. I thought it was helpful and I wanted to share.


Ten Steps to Loving Yourself



1. Stop all Criticism- Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself your changes are positive.



2. Don’t Scare Yourself- Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your thoughts to pleasant one’s.



3. Be Gentle, Kind and Patient- treat yourself with patience, gentleness and kindness. Treat yourself as you would someone whom you loved.



4. Be Kind to Your Mind- Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Gently change your thoughts to more loving ones.



5. Praise Yourself- Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it. Tell yourself how well you are doing with everything.



6. Support Yourself- Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it most.



7. Be Loving to Your Negatives- Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new positive ways to fulfill those needs. Release the old patterns.



8. Take Care of Your Body- Learn about nutrition. What does your body need to have the optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. Cherish the temple you live in.



9. Mirror Work- Look into your eyes often. Express the growing sense of love you feel for yourself. Forgive yourself for all as you look into the mirror. Once a day say “I love you” at yourself in the mirror.



10. Do It Now- Don’t wait till you get well, lose weight or get a new job. Begin now, do the best you can

Survey time

ONE WISH?
For understanding in all my relationships.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Both

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Losing my friendships.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Nope

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
It depends on the reality show.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
sometimes

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
I’d like to think so.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Well, sometimes I do wish for someone to share with.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
black

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Sometimes.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
Not that I know of.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
The beach.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
He can be.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
nope.

17. DO YOU GIVE A CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
Yes, at times.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP????
I never counted, I don’t have the time to.

19. DO YOU REALLY HAVE TIME FOR THIS?
There isn’t anything better to do.


20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Yes

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
nope

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Um, what?

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
No opinion.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I suppose

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Not a thing

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
Today to my mom.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
no

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Nope

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
well done.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I find them smart.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Where there is a sock monster who comes through the dryer vent and sucks out one sock, so he can watch you run around looking for it.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
5:11 pm

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
A few, mckwalker do, hobble, Jammers, Jam,

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yep

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
yesterday

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Both are fine.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Only in ones heart.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Of course.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Not at all.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
I’m not telling.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
yes

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
yes

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
once

46. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I can be.

47. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
blue

48. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
At times.

49. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no

50. HAVE YOU EVER READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yes

51. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
nope

52. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
no

53. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
no

54. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Depends where

55. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
At times

56. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Yes

57. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
yes

58. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Yes, it is a necessary device to have.

59. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
nope

60. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
yep

61. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
yes

62. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
beans

63. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
yes

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes

65. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING COMMERCIAL?
I don’t know

66. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
nope

67. DO YOU SNORE?
I have no idea.

68. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
I am I said by neil diamond.

Survey time

ONE WISH?
For understanding in all my relationships.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Both

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Losing my friendships.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Nope

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
It depends on the reality show.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
sometimes

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
I’d like to think so.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Well, sometimes I do wish for someone to share with.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
black

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Sometimes.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
Not that I know of.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
The beach.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
He can be.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
nope.

17. DO YOU GIVE A CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
Yes, at times.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP????
I never counted, I don’t have the time to.

19. DO YOU REALLY HAVE TIME FOR THIS?
There isn’t anything better to do.


20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Yes

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
nope

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Um, what?

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
No opinion.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I suppose

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Not a thing

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
Today to my mom.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
no

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Nope

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
well done.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I find them smart.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Where there is a sock monster who comes through the dryer vent and sucks out one sock, so he can watch you run around looking for it.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
5:11 pm

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
A few, mckwalker do, hobble, Jammers, Jam,

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yep

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
yesterday

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Both are fine.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Only in ones heart.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Of course.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Not at all.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
I’m not telling.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
yes

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
yes

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
once

46. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I can be.

47. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
blue

48. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
At times.

49. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no

50. HAVE YOU EVER READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yes

51. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
nope

52. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
no

53. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
no

54. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Depends where

55. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
At times

56. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Yes

57. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
yes

58. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Yes, it is a necessary device to have.

59. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
nope

60. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
yep

61. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
yes

62. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
beans

63. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
yes

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes

65. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING COMMERCIAL?
I don’t know

66. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
nope

67. DO YOU SNORE?
I have no idea.

68. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
I am I said by neil diamond.

Week 4

Journal writing is a wonderful way to get in touch with yourself, which I am on a quest of doing. Week four of the Life Makeovers action plan was this exact thing, writing a minimum of 3 pages every morning, getting in touch with the authentic voice. I am not sure what my authentic voice is saying half the time, well, I have discovered that it is time to listen up or get hit in the head. I am listening, Jamie, really I am. Talking to my sister in law Kris yesterday, during one of our shopping excursions in Vancouver, she made a point. I do know myself, in a lot of ways, I just have chosen to silence that beautiful woman that is inside of me, she is a tigress, and she is getting angry every time I get the duck tape out to put over her mouth. Writing this past week, instead of just writing what I am doing, but actually putting on paper what I am feeling, was a different approach. I have been a matter of fact type of girl, I don’t show my emotions, I keep them locked away in a treasure trove inside of my heart and soul. Well, it is time to get it out and start expressing them. This is what I am discovering about myself this week.
1) I am an emotional person.
2) I do know what I like or what I don’t like.
3) I am a good friend, sister, daughter, and aunt.
4) I don’t have to justify my opinion or actions to anyone.
5) What I believe is my belief and I need to be courageous about it and not be afraid of the frowns, cruelty, and angry results when I express myself. I deserve the same respect that I give to everyone in my life about their own self beliefs.

Thursday Thirteen #3

Thirteen Character qualities I want develop for 2007 YOUR NAME 1. Courage 2. Joy 3. Love 4. Respect 5. Responsibility 6. Trust 7. Integrity 8. Hope 9. Patience 10. Endurance 11. Happiness 12. Strength 13. Peace Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Gratitude

I missed a day of what I am grateful for, so here is my list for two days.

1) Being complimented by my brother about losing gracefully at Monopoly to him
2) Learning new things
3) My plants
4) Family and Friends
5) For good books that can show you inspiration.

Butterfly Goddess

What I'm Thanksful For

My list today:

1) Seeing Monte and Sarah tonight.
2) Having my dryer fixed.
3) My beautiful bamboo plant, that I replanted in a beautiful glass bowl today.
4) My mom, she can at times say something so kind to me that makes me feel good.
5) Movies

A Through Z

A friend sent this to me, so I thought I'd post it here.


A- Available or single? Single

B- Best Friend? Amber

C- Cake or pie? Peach pie.

D- Drink of choice? Iced tea or cherry coke.

E- Essential item I use every day. toothbrush

F- Favorite color: I like pinks and reds

G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worm? neither

H- Hometown? Longview, Washington

I- Indulgence: Cheese

J- January or February? I have never honestly thought about it, I guess it would be January, because is a new beginning of a new year.

K- Kids and names: I don’t know, I’m too old for this game.

L- Life is incomplete without? Family and friends.

M- Marriage date: who knows?

N- Number of siblings: Carri, Rob, Joy, and Vickie.

O- Oranges or apples? I like both.

P- Phobias or fears? Let’s see, snakes. They make my skin crawl, I don’t want to see that movie “Snakes in the plane.” That would be my worst nightmare coming true.

Q- Favorite quote? - I have a few.

R- Reasons to smile: me

S- Season: Spring or fall.

T- Tag 3 or 4 people. I refuse to.

U- Unknown fact about me: I can’t think of anything.

V- Vegetable you don’t like: hominy

W- Worst habit: biting my nails and eating when I am bored or depressed.

X- X-Rays: I have had a few of these.

Y- Your favorite food? Cheese.

Z- Zodiac sign: Gemini

Gratitude

What I am thankful for today:

1) My plans with Monte on January first.
2) My mom feeling better from her cold and getting her strength back.
3) For finally seeing what Monte is trying to tell me about his comment the other day.
4) For my renewed strength and exuberance for exercise.
5) Learning to be me.

End Of A Year

The end of a new year is coming in just a few days and soon a new year will begin. The whole month of December has been a trying experience for me, as I am going through a cycle of change, death, and rebirth inside of myself. The last few months have been that way, things around me have been shifting. I do not deal with change well, really, do any of us?
One of the relationships that I have held dearly to my heart is in turmoil again, this cycle between us happens a lot. I don’t know if it is his moody behavior, his constant need for new people in his life, or his boredom with the old friends that he proclaims to care about, all I know is that it doesn’t feel good to be stabbed in the chest. I still care, I still want this relationship, but I am finding it difficult to let go and let him go on these rampages, especially when they literally tear me apart. I don’t like being called a parasite, or a flea that makes his skin crawl, or being told whenever, when I ask when we will hang out again, when I haven’t seen him in a month and he supposedly has a present for me for Christmas.
This I know for sure, I have to release this anger that is welling up inside of me, anger that I have never felt towards anyone in my life, even the abusers who have tormented and tortured me. When I dreamed that I went to his apartment, and I beat the living shit out of him, all the while screaming at him, that is a sign that I need to somehow release this anger, or else this relationship is going to go south quickly. I am a flexible person, I always have been, but for some reason, I am angry, maybe it is because the last few weeks, going to my councilor I have been dredging up my past and the authentic woman inside is angry and she is taking it out on the person who is closest and who is being a total jerk to her. See that is the problem, I see his side of it too, he has met a new friend that he wants to spend all his time with, and that is only human nature to do that, and I also know that we go through cycles in our relationship, and we always have.
So sitting in the bath tub this morning, I made a plan for me. I don’t want the end of a year to end badly, in losing a friendship, that I still hold close to my heart, so I decided to step back, let go, take no action, and turn inward to myself. Let others come to me, if they do, great, and if they don’t, I will be sad, but my tears will go away. They have before. It is hard for me to let go, it is going to take great strength and power inside of me to do this task, but it must be done. I am leaving it up to him, he wants the control, well he can have it. I am taking no action, and I’m doing that with all of my relationships. I have been the one to fight and nurture my relationships, and frankly, I am tired. My health, my spiritual self, and my authentic self all needs time to find the voice and the peace inside of me that I am going to need for the next half of my life.

Todays Gratitude

What I am thankful for today:

1) Spending time with family.
2) Changs Grill in Portland Oregon. It is good food.
3) For books
4) Friends
5) TV and Phones. LOL

Week 3

This weeks challenge wasn’t that hard for me to do, scheduling time for yourself. Well I did it differently, I don’t have people demanding anything from me, at least not anymore. So, I’m instead decided to unplug the phone and spend time finding the real Jamie. Wish me luck.

Thursday Thirteen #2

Thirteen Things that make me happy 1. My family: all of them. Rob and his family, Carri and her son, Joy, Vickie and her family. They are supportive despite me being a pain through my life changes. 2. My friends: Christina, Amber and Russ, and Monte. They are great and have supported me through the process of my life change. Though I have been a pain. 3. Good food: things that are cheesy and gooey, yummy. 4. Good music: some of my favorites are Tori Amos, Evanescence, and Heart. Music that has good lyrics, or they can make you want to boogey. 5. Good movies: some of my favorites that can cheer me up when I am having a bad day are: Breakfast at tiffany’s, Under The Tuscan Sun, and Pretty In Pink. 6. Having belly laughs with friends or family. You know those kinds of laughs that you can’t stop no matter what. 7. Cooking in the kitchen with someone, whether it is a friend or family member. 8. Enjoying a good meal with friends or family. 9. Going for a walk along side the beach, feeling the wet sand on your feet. 10. Reading a good book, laying on the couch with a blanket. 11. Taking care of something that I love… 12. Spending time by myself, turning the phone off and being in my own thoughts. 13. Watching my favorite TV programs. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Health

I found this quote in a book that I was reading called "Naomi's Breakthrough Guide"
written by Naomi Judd. I have enjoyed reading this book, though my spiritual beliefs are far different than heres. It still had some great thoughts and ideas in it for a healthy lifestyle. The way she became healthy after contacting hepatitis C and her miracle. I found the 20 tips she offered inspiring and helpful on my own quest.


Health is an intuitive perception of the universe as being of one fabric. Health is maintaining communication with the animals and plants and minerals and stars. It is knowing death and life and knowing no difference. It is blending and melding, seeking solitude and seeking companionship to understand one’s many selves. Health is seeking out all the experiences of creation and turning them over and over, feeling their texture and multiple meanings. Health is expanding beyond one’s singular state of consciousness to experience the ripples and waves of the universe.
Jeanne Achterberg

Mantra

May I be at peace.
May my heart remain open.
May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.
May I be healed.
May I be the source of healing for others.

What I'm Grateful For

1) My mom, Carri, Rob & family, Monte, Amber, Christina, Joy, Vickie, and myself.
2) For sappy Christmas movies
3) The peaceful feeling you get when listening to good music
4) Empowering books, that give you insight in a different direction.
5) The power of change and transition.

Goodbye 2006

Good Bye 2006 Forever
THIS YEAR:

[PEOPLE]
best friend: Amber
lost any friends: No
gained any friends: A couple

[PLACES]
went out of the country: No, I wish.
moved: nope
new school: nope
how many times on an airplane: 2

[YOU]
have you changed: Yes, a lot. I am discovering who I am on a daily basis.
new look: well, I am losing weight, so I am looking forward to next year.
most depressed time this year: having some fights with a close friend.
best time this year: hanging out with Russ and Amber, and Monte.

[LOVE]
did you get heartbroken: Yes, but it was my stupidity.
who was your summer love: no one

[SEASONS]
favorite Season: spring and fall
least favorite season: Winter
good birthday?: yes, I went out to dinner with Monte and watch Trojan get blown to pieces.
any snow this year: Yup

[FINAL QUESTIONS]
got arrested: no
had a crush: nope
lost a family member: not this year, thank God.
got a myspace: YEP
kept a secret: Lots of them.
told a secret: nope, I don’t spill.
done something you totally regret: come one now, who hasn’t.
tried to change something you cant?: come on, who hasn’t.
Who do you picture yourself with right now?: Well, I am with now on a self discovery quest and I don’t want to be in a relationship until I figure it out, it doesn’t have to be all figure out, just the important parts.

[x] broke a promise
[] made a new best friend
[] fallen out of love
[x] lied
[] went behind your parents back
[X] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[X] hid a secret
[X]pretended to be happy
[] kissed in the rain
[x]slept under the stars
[]kept your new years resolution
[X] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed my life
[] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[] pretended to be sick
[] left the country
[] almost died
[X] given up something important to you
[] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[X] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[X] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[X] pigged out over the summer
[X] cried over the silliest thing
[]was never home on weekends
[x] gotten into a car accident
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[x] had someone close to me die
[X] had a high cell phone bill
[] wasted most of my money on food
[] had a fist fight
[] went to the beach
[] saw a celebrity
[x] gotten sick
[] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[] became closer to a lot of people

5 Things To Be Thankful For

1) The movie “It’s a wonderful life”
2) Family and Friends
3) The upcoming new year
4) The ending of another year
5) New beginnings

Layers

A survey that I received.

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE

Name: Jamie
Birth date: May 21
Birthplace: Longview, Washington
Eye color: blue
Hair color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty...
Zodiac Sign: Gemini, (I am born on the cusp, so I am actually a Taurus/Gemini, in others words, I’m a double bull. LOL)

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE

Your heritage: American
Shoes you wore today: leather clogs
Your weakness: cheese
Your fears: snakes
Your perfect Pizza: one with a ton of cheese

LAYER THREE:

Your most overused phrase on AIM/MSN: LOL
Your thoughts waking up: Do I have to?
Your best physical feature: my face.
Your bedtime: whenever
Your most missed memory (ies): I have a lot of them.

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICKS

Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: neither
Single or Group Dates: Depends
Adidas or Nike: I don’t care
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: both
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino

LAYER FIVE:

Smoke: nope
Cuss: Yes, I have a potty mouth. LOL
Single: Yes
Take a shower everyday: yes
Think you've been in love: nope
Like(d) high school: Yes, especially the peanut club at lunch time.
Want to get married: Not especially.
Believe in yourself: I have my moments
Get motion sickness: no
Think you are attractive: I can be
Think you're a health freak: I’m turning into one.
Get along with your parents: most of the time.
Like thunderstorms: Yes, especially when you are at the beach.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH

Drank alcohol: No, actually.
Done a drug: Nope..
Gone on a date: nope
Gone to the mall: Yep
Been on stage: Nope
Eaten sushi: Nope
Been dumped: Nope..
Gone skating: Nope
Gone skinny-dipping: Nope
Dyed your hair: nope
Stolen anything: nope

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER

Played a game that required removal of clothing: nope.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope
Been caught "doing something": Yes. J)
Changed who you were to fit in: who hasn‘t come on now. ...

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER

Age you hope to be married: 50, I don’t know
Number of children: none
How do you want to die: happily
What do you want to be when you grow up?: I don’t know yet. LOL

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY

Best eye color? either
Best hair color? Brownish.
Short or Long Hair: doesn’t matter
Height: 6ft
Best first date location: dinner.

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I could trust with my life: 6 or 7
Number of piercings: 2
Number of tattoos: none, maybe someday
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 3 times, all in obituaries.
Number of scars on my body: a lot, I’m not going to count them.
Number of things in my past that I regret: I don’t regret anything, they are all beautiful lessons and they shaped who I am.

Week 2

Week two of Life Makeovers with Cheryl Richardson: The take action challenge has given me an adventure in a lot of things. First, I had to think about what character qualities I wanted to develop over the next year. I choose a few of them:
Being courageous
Trusting of family and friends
Being honest with myself and others
Being Financially responsible
This is a challenge for me, all of them. I always stuffing things and it is difficult for to trust anyone, and money, oh man, that is a another thing. I wrote out my affirmations for each one of these.
I will be courageous
I will trust my family and friends that they won’t abandon me because of what I believe or how I am feeling.
I will be financially responsibly, by being realistic about what I can afford, and not spending all my money on others.
I will be honest with myself about what is going on in my life and with others too.
Boy, that is a large load to take on, but I am capable of doing these. It was a challenge to not think of the negative self talk that would whip me into submission when the obstacles came into focus.
I realized, after awhile, that I don’t know my authentic self well enough. It has been buried for so long, under the muck, mire, and sewage that has been shoved down my throat for so long. I have a voice, I heard it talking the last week. Must to my amazement I like this woman, and she isn’t that far off in what I truly am.

Balance

Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael
the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of
God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel
Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God,
and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be
a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained,
pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a
place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be
poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is
a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued
pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one
will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area
and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God "That's Washington State,
the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers
and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from
Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and
humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They
will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be
known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What
about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington... wait until you see the
idiots I put there!

Blessings

Today was a good day. I had many uplifting blessings, here are 5 of them.

1) Monte and I talked and made up in a way.
2) Turkey!!, Yes, Turkey. I cooked it, took it all off the bone and now I’m making broth.
3) My warm apartment
4) Magazines and books. I’ve been enjoying reading again, something I haven’t done in awhile.
5) My family and friends.

Prancer

I wanted to do something fun for Christmas.

You Are Prancer

You are the perfect reindeer, with perfect hooves and perfect flying form. Why You're Naughty: Because you're Santa's pet, and you won't let anyone show you up. Why You're Nice: You have the softest fur and the sweetest carrot breath.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

Five Blessings

I thought things were going to be crappy for me this Christmas, well because, with a certain friend, that I have had major troubles with, decided he needed another break from me, we had that settled, then he calls me today and tells me he is done. We talked for a little bit, and I said it is said if we can't call once in awhile to say hi and see what is up, he said you can't do once in awhile. It is still unsettled, because if it is truly done, why would he say I'll call you back, so we can talk about it. I am confused by this. Knowing Monte, he does this a lot, he has done this to me, twice before. I called back tonight, I left him a nice message, and I left it in his corner. I am taking a risk, this is difficult for me, I like him, and when I care about someone, I get close to them, it is hard for me to let go. I have to let go, I can’t force someone in my life if they don’t want to be there. I got on a tangent, didn’t I? I wanted to write out the blessings that I am receiving this holiday season. The gifts from people that I didn’t expect. I need to find things to be grateful for in my life, and not focus on the negative. I have to change my mind set or negativity will run rapid, and I don’t want to be like my real mom. So here it goes: Here are five to get me started. I’m going to do this daily, lets see what happens.
1) Unexpected gifts from a sister who lives far away. Vickie and I don’t share Christmas, we never did growing up, the last two days, I have gotten two things. A one year magazine subscription to Better Homes and Gardens, and a box of cheese and summer sausage, (anyone who knows me, knows that cheese is my absolutely favorite food)
2) Turkey is a blessing, I love turkey.
3) Spending time with my sister in law, Kris and her two girls Nichole and Sarah.
4) Giving hope a chance in the situation with Monte, and taking a risk.
5) My nice red pajamas.

Good Bacteria

I thought this article about probiotics showed some great informational about the healthy bacteria that our bodies need. I have learned this from my big sister Vickie. I needed some to help me with some stomach trouble I was having, and sure enough, it helped a lot. Yogurt is a good source of probiotics, but also you can get it in pill form too.

Thursday Thirteen # 1

Thirteen Things about Jamie Thursday Thirteen Number One: 1. I am 31 2. My sister Joy got me into blogging and Thursday Thirteen 3. I live in Vancouver Washington 4. I enjoy cooking, photography, reading, and my houseplants. 5. I just got a library card in the city I live in now. 6. I am on a life altering journey. 7. I have 3 sisters and one brother 8. My brother Rob is called the mystic marvel, because he can fix anything, he is married to a wonderful woman and has 4 children, My sister Carri is a fabulous artist, and she is home schooling her little boy. My sister Joy, is a awesome writer, and loves books, blue, and babies and lives too far away, I miss her. My sister Vickie lives in Alabama, and she a magnificent woman and I love them all. I love all of my siblings. 9. I lost my dad to colon cancer a little over a year ago, and I miss him a lot. 10. Rick, my significant other passed away almost three years ago, and I still miss him in a lot of ways. I sold our house, in hopes of forgetting about things. It didn’t work. 11. I love the cheese 12. I just lost 25 pounds and I am on a quest to lose more, after going a year without losing any. The previous year, I lost 86 pounds. I had a long plateau. 13. I believe in having a balance life and that is ultimately my goal. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Anxiety

I got this article about anxiety and the research that is being done. I have a couple of family members who suffer from anxiety, all for different reasons. I myself at times have been emotionally effect, by watching the people I love suffer from this debilitating disease. I am glad they are coming up with new medications to help.

Lovely Poem

The House Of Belonging:
David Whyte

I awoke
This morning
In the gold light
Turning this way
And that

Thinking for
A moment
It was one
Day
Like any other.

But
The veil had gone
From my darkened heart
And I thought
It must have been the quiet
Candlelight
That filled my room

It must have been
The first
Easy rhythm
With which I breathed
Myself to sleep,

It must have been
The prayer I said
Speaking to the otherness
Of the night.

And I thought
This is the good day
You could
Meet your love.

House Of Belonging

I just read a marvelous book by Sarah Ban Breathnach called “Moving On”. I first encountered this grand writer when my sister Joy sent me her book “Simple Abundance”, as a gift. I loved it, though I do have to admit that I never actually followed it day by day or discovered the many treasures that were in it. I still have the book, and now upon reading this creation, I have a renewed interest in reading it day by day, starting with the new year. “Moving On”, is a candid self description of her trials and errors, coming from her success to failure and back to success. It gives a renewed hope that if this famous author can go through tragedies and survive, well then maybe I can to. I recommend this book for any woman, who is losing hope, and needs a reinvention of herself. You will surely find it here.

Christmas Spirit

Miracle On 34th Street, I just finished watching this lovely film. It brings you into the Christmas spirit. Last night I watched the old classic, “It’s A Wonderful Life”. I needed some Christmas spirit. These two movies bring the hope that we all need about man kind, friends, and family. Having faith in all that you are, and believing that things will be ok. I have been struggling with this my whole life, having faith, having trust, having belief in yourself and that all shall be well. I want to believe, it is difficult, especially for the child that is in me. I feel like that little girl, who wants to believe in Christmas, but is struggling with it. I need to trust and have faith.

Life Makeovers

With all of the life altering transitions that I have been experiencing for the last two years of my life, since February 18th, 2004, I have decided to go on a new beginning, a different start. This decision, after many, many months of staling, fighting, and begrudging myself and others in my life, this new insight came to me. I have gone on many different starts, I have always gone back to the prison that I have made of my own negative thoughts, being afraid of the unknown, being crippled by the past, and extending energy to everyone else’s care. I am a natural born caretaker, I take on everything for everyone, I’m always there, no matter what. In fact, when my sister Carri came to visit me unrepentantly yesterday and I didn’t answer the phone, like everyone expects from me, she was concerned. I made a conscious decision to unplug my phone and not be a phone whore anymore, to spend time alone, in my own thoughts, thinking about myself, what I have to do to make my own life better and not sitting there frustrated by the lack of what I am perceiving is nothing. With that said, I decided to go on a different new path, something that I have never done before. I am working several thoughts, making them each my own, on a quest of discovery of me.
So I made a list of 25 accomplishments, recommended by Cheryl Richardson, who wrote “Life Makeovers.”

1) Walking the Clackamas mall with Amber and her clan without losing my breath and keeping up and not lagging behind.
2) Learning boundaries for myself and with my other relationships.
3) Eating healthier and not using food as a comfort.
4) Losing 25 pounds
5) Growing Italian Parsley, and my other plants.
6) Learning to listen to my intuition and voice inside, instead of ignoring them.
7) Recognizing what my strengths are
8) Coming out of the darkness and into the REAL world, and discovering that I have the key to my doors.
9) Knowing my own style
10) Being a good friend to Amber, Monte, Christina, and listening and being there for them.
11) Taking care of my health.
12) Learning to open up about my problems with my family and friends.
13) Realizing my own place in the web of life. That I’m the only person with the power to control my life.
14) Developing my writing skills with my blogs.
15) Finding out and realizing what I truly believe in.
16. Learning to make goals and plans for my life.
17. Learning to read bills and understanding what they are actually saying.
18) Being brave and gaining courage to telling people what I think.
19) Expanding my tastes in music
20) Developing my skills in many areas of my life
21) Filled out an application for a job at the library.
22) Starting a new journey in myself.
23) Getting a library card, something I have been wanting to do for a long time, but procrastinated.

Nourishing Ones Self!

"The body must be nourished physically, emotionally and spiritually. We're spiritually starved in this culture -- not underfed but undernourished." --Carol Hornig

Peaceful Picture

I took this picture at the Grand Canyon over a year ago. I found it while looking through my pictures today. I find this picture peaceful and beautiful. It is helpful for a soul that is crying out for some comfort. I love the way the tree is sticking out over the edge and you can see the pretty colors in the distance of the canyon. It brings back happy memories.

My Tarot Card

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Good News

I am so excited. I am now under 300 pounds. I have lost 15 pounds since November 14th. I am so happy. I went to the hospital last night, I had extremely high blood pressure, 218/112, that is stroke level. I was not feeling good all day, I also have a bladder infection, one that has been happening for a long time now. All these things could be playing havoc on my emotional well being. I am hoping the new medications will do their job, and I’ll be able to be my normal self. The past few months, I have been having crying fits, this is new to me. I have never in my life felt this way about anything in my life. Things have been accumulating and it is frustrating me and everyone who is around me. I am lucky that I have not lost any of my relationships over it, though I have come close. My greatest fear is being like my real mom, she was a hermit. She kept everything to herself, she was not happy. I don’t want that, I have to do something now to change that. I’m still on the quest of knowing what. All I know is that I cannot go to any of my support people in my life for help any longer. This is something I am going to have to figure out for myself.